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I think we need to collectively get over the idea that in order to harm your kids you have to be a bad parent and/or do it intentionally.
I say this from a disabled child with abled parents, autistic child with non-autistic parents perspective...but it‘s applicable regardless.
I say this from a disabled child with abled parents, autistic child with non-autistic parents perspective...but it‘s applicable regardless.
A lof of harm is done unknowingly, unintentionally, and in fact with the best intentions at heart.
A lot of unintentional harm stems from parents getting the info they base their parenting decisions on from „professionals“ who don‘t belong to the groups they are „advising“ on.
A lot of unintentional harm stems from parents getting the info they base their parenting decisions on from „professionals“ who don‘t belong to the groups they are „advising“ on.
I know this can be hard to do, but please try - for your sake and for the sake of your child:
When someone objectively criticizes something you do in regards to your child, or gives you advice on what to do different/better...
Don’t. Take. It. Personally.
Take it objectively.
When someone objectively criticizes something you do in regards to your child, or gives you advice on what to do different/better...
Don’t. Take. It. Personally.
Take it objectively.
It’s important to be open to criticism, because only then can you help and support your child properly.
Only then can you stop making the same mistakes over and over, stop doing unintentional harm.
For your child‘s sake: learn to admit when you‘re wrong/don‘t know something!!!
Only then can you stop making the same mistakes over and over, stop doing unintentional harm.
For your child‘s sake: learn to admit when you‘re wrong/don‘t know something!!!
I‘ll let you in on a secret:
My parents have done a LOT of harm to me in my childhood.
And none of it was intentional.
They tried their best with the information they (didn‘t) have.
How can they stop harming me?
Only if they first admit they did harm!
Only if they change!
My parents have done a LOT of harm to me in my childhood.
And none of it was intentional.
They tried their best with the information they (didn‘t) have.
How can they stop harming me?
Only if they first admit they did harm!
Only if they change!
When I got diagnosed, my parents finally started to learn what they needed to know to support me properly.
That‘s when the harm stopped.
Because my parents decided to take responsibility for their mistakes, learn, and change.
Had they insisted, they‘d still be harming me!
That‘s when the harm stopped.
Because my parents decided to take responsibility for their mistakes, learn, and change.
Had they insisted, they‘d still be harming me!
And yes, it is complicated!
My Mom feels incredibly guilty for how much I suffered because of what they did/didn‘t do.
I struggle with feelings of blame, with trying to untangle what‘s warranted and what isn‘t.
It‘s not easy!!!
But only if we do this work can we get better.
My Mom feels incredibly guilty for how much I suffered because of what they did/didn‘t do.
I struggle with feelings of blame, with trying to untangle what‘s warranted and what isn‘t.
It‘s not easy!!!
But only if we do this work can we get better.
When I call out harm my parents did to me...
I‘m not calling them bad parents.
I‘m not calling them abusive.
I‘m not saying they don‘t love me.
I‘m not saying they did it knowingly or intentionally.
Harm needs to be called out to stop it! That‘s it!
It‘s NOT a personal attack.
I‘m not calling them bad parents.
I‘m not calling them abusive.
I‘m not saying they don‘t love me.
I‘m not saying they did it knowingly or intentionally.
Harm needs to be called out to stop it! That‘s it!
It‘s NOT a personal attack.
When I call out harm you do to your autistic child...
I‘m not calling you a bad parent or abusive.
I‘m not saying you don‘t love your child, or that you do it knowingly/intentionally.
Harm needs to be called out to stop it!
I. Do. It. For. Your. Child.
It‘s NOT personal.
I‘m not calling you a bad parent or abusive.
I‘m not saying you don‘t love your child, or that you do it knowingly/intentionally.
Harm needs to be called out to stop it!
I. Do. It. For. Your. Child.
It‘s NOT personal.
Oh great...I didn‘t use any hashtags at all, so this thread isn’t going to be found by anyone.
Thanks brain!
Please, if you can, share it far and wide because I really think it is super, super important!
Please don’t let it disappear into twitter oblivion!
Thank you
Thanks brain!
Please, if you can, share it far and wide because I really think it is super, super important!
Please don’t let it disappear into twitter oblivion!
Thank you
