Better sneaky than dead. I say it this starkly because we equivocate about “safety” and “leaving” to diminish the risk. We do that to sound fair and moral and righteous. I want to be the one to say that if lying keeps you safe, lie. Every time. Pray about it later. https://twitter.com/redmonkimages/status/1295496640766320640

If your instincts tell you to have secret money? Do it. If you end up needing it? Use it and then get therapy. If you never have to use it? One day use it on therapy. But do not let anyone talk you out of the instinct. Crazy or not, feeling it is protecting you somehow.

Could be a useful coping or a counterproductive coping. But that is to figure out with an expert. As a lay person I prefer to land on the side of safety, even if it is an extreme case. We don’t tell women enough to trust themselves.

Trust. Yourself. At minimum, trust yourself more than you trust an angry partner’s assessment of you. If you’re the crazy one, let a trained therapist be the one to tell you.