Thread: Coping with the loss of Hana Kimura (CW: Death)

"I've never met Hana, but when she died, it hurt me. Why am I feeling hurt about someone I never knew?"

In this thread, I'll explain why this is and how we can navigate grief & loss in the context of Hana Kimura.

This phenomenon is called: Parasocial Relationships

*Note: I'm not a trained psychologist. I've read a lot of articles & research papers about coping with loss & celeb influence. If you're able to, you can also reach out to a professional to walk you through the grieving process

First of all, what is "Parasocial"?

It's describes a one-sided relationship between celebrities and their audience. It's when you dedicate emotional energy, interest, and time to someone who's unaware of your existence. It's most common among TV/film/music fans and sports fans.

Nowadays, we can use social media to constantly get updates on what a celebrity does.

You may follow someone on social media and keep track of everything they do to the point where you feel like you know them.

What do we tend to do with this attachment?

You may attempt to communicate via comments, DMs, fan letters, etc. You might buy merch. You may also buy products that remind you of her (like her favorite brand of clothing).

In the past, parasocial relationships used to be perceived as abnormalities developed through isolation, fear of socialization, etc.

But now we know that parasocial relationships can help us in many ways.

How do they help us?

They help us develop our own identity.

Some parasocial relationships help us observe & imitate a positive role model like Hana.

She influenced us in different ways. Hana might've inspired you to watch wrestling or sparked your curiosity about Japanese culture. Her bubbly personality might've brightened your day.

Some of us might've dyed our hair pink, imitated her catchphrases ("YES SIR"/"Everyone is different, everyone is special!"/"Easy Money!"), or paid more attention to her media content, for example.

We build fan communities out of our mutual interest in her.

This connection we develop means something.

Since social media can get personal, we'd see celebrities reflect our own values.

Their win is our win, and their loss is shared too.

When someone like Hana passes away, we feel a huge loss because of this intense-personal aspect.

When something bad happens to them, it can feel like it's happening to you.

These feelings are valid.

There are different levels of parasocial relationships.

You may have felt deeply connected with Hana. Her presence may have inspired you to pursue different goals or feel drawn towards certain communities, outlets, or aesthetics.

When she passed away, you might have felt empty or defeated.

What can we do with these feelings?

Your feelings may seem more complicated bc they're from a parasocial relationship, but they're true. You have every right to honor them & acknowledge your emotions.

You need to allow yourself to process these emotions to work through loss.

Give yourself space to grieve freely.

However, there is a difference between staying aware and getting absorbed.

You might feel overwhelmed by all the articles and news coming out about her. You can take time offline and clear your mind. Take a nap, a bubble bath, get a massage, or do some chores, for example.

You can create rituals to honor her.

We can grieve healthily. Get some flowers to honor her. Make some fanart. Write a fan letter. Sing along to her favorite songs. Watch moments when she was happy.

You can discuss Hana's strengths, why you care about her, why you admire her, and why it hurts.

Even if you personally didn't know Hana, it still feels personal.

Public figures like Hana are deeply connected to significant memories in our own lives, so it can be tangible.

We can keep this parasocial relationship with her, as long as it's healthy.

Fans can honor Hana's legacy and keep positive memories of her alive.

Our love & recognition for her can extend past May 23rd into eternity.

We can heal together.

Sources:
https://www.loveliveson.com/5-stages-of-grief/

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/10410236.2015.1056329

https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=3211499

I've gotten this question a couple of times, so I thought I'd make a thread.

Take care.