Poirot quarantines superbly. He never leaves his flat in Whitehaven Mansions, nor does he allow others to enter. He employs a young boy to purchase groceries, leaving them at his doorstep. He solves a series of complex cases without ever venturing outside #CovidDetectives https://twitter.com/fritschner/status/1295162830807851010

(Poirot berates Hastings for not being careful. Hastings gets Covid, and Poirot nurses him to health while somehow never coming within six feet. He reminds Hastings frequently that he “gave the warning.” Miss Lemon is convinced she has Covid but it is actually just indigestion.)

Miss Marple is in the middle of a complex case; grasping the psychology has the solution and is prepared to reveal it... but gets Covid and dies. She is, after all, in a high risk category. She kept crucial information to herself so we may never know who did it #CovidDetectives

Sherlock Holmes is stupidly careless despite Watson’s medical advice and gets horribly ill. Leading London specialists write him off as doomed. He reveals he was asymptomatic and acting out the symptoms to lure the villain(s) into complacency. His plan succeeds. #CovidDetectives

DCI Tom Barnaby is miserable. Endless days of Joyce’s cooking stretch out before him. He does not take well to Zoom, frequently forgetting to mute and then to unmute. His misery is broken when apprehends a serial killer in the act of committing their 37th murder #CovidDetectives

Miss Phryne Fisher starts a non profit employing abused women making PPE for courageous local medical workers. She solves a murder involving five suspicious sailors who worked on shuttered cruise line. Jack Robinson would like to go on a cruise with Phryne. Alas. #CovidDetectives

DCI John Luther knows it was wrong to break quarantine. He is at high risk because of stratospheric blood pressure and was suspended last week, but the bad guy threatened his niece Emily. He kills them. His use of force was justified.. according to police reports #CovidDetectives

Brother Cadfael keeps caring for the sick during the pandemic. He is infected, and near death, but recovers just in time to apprehend an unassuming law clerk (secretly King Stephen’s squire) who murders by giving people Covid. Cadfael cracks the case with botany. #CovidDetectives

We see Patrick McGoohan, a medical researcher, make microscopic punctures in his colleague’s N95 mask. No way anyone could catch him.. but wait, Detective Columbo has just one more thing that’s bothering him. Covid. Columbo, a heavy smoker, cracks the case, dies. #CovidDetectives

Jessica Fletcher realizes that every other person in the town of Cabot Cove has been murdered except for herself and Gary Peterson. She manages to crack the case in time to avert Peterson’s plan to murder her. Then she dies of Covid. Deadly pandemic, she wrote. #CovidDetectoves

Christopher Foyle investigates the murder of a heroic nurse, killed by a young aristocrat whose uncle, Lord Dempley, says the young man “wouldn’t hurt a fly.” Along the way Foyle also busts an illegal ring of pill counterfeiters. He urges townsfolk to wear masks. #CovidDetectives

Father Brown gets incredibly sick... with a hemorrhagic fever he contracts while traveling in South America. He proves the innocence of young lawyer convicted of murdering his fiancée. He reveals that, actually, a clown did it. #CovidDetectives

Benson is responsible, but gets frustrated with Stabler who keeps “just asking” whether she thinks the whole pandemic might really be a hoax. The strain is getting to him. A case of sexual assault against a BLM activist causes them to re-examine their prejudices. #CovidDetectives

Mike Hammer knows that Covid was created in a Chinese lab. He hates the Chinese. He doesn’t trust that tiny doctor on tv. Nobody really knows anything about anything. He takes his rage out by beating up a suspicious-looking young Asian man for “resisting arrest.” #CovidDetectives

George Smiley is careful during the pandemic... but one can never be too careful. Are his sniffles caused by the weather, or the first symptoms of the sickness that will kill him? His throat is sore. What if the Russian vaccine works? Karla is devilishly cunning. #CovidDetectives

Philip Marlowe doesn’t care that the leggy blond dame got Covid and lost her job, there’s a lot of hard luck these days. She’s singing a sweet tune, but he if he turns his back to her she might ruin his new suit with a switchblade. Well, the suit isn’t that new.. #CovidDetectives

Dr. R. Quincy, ME is brought another body that everyone knows must’ve been Covid. Quincy knows it was not Covid, but a boating accident made to look like Covid by the murderer, a smarmy investor named Gurnsey Strompleton. Quincy cures Covid. Quincy!? Yes, Quincy. #CovidDetectives