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One of the biggest misconceptions I see about Re:ZERO is that Rem's devotion is a form of all-accepting love. This is yet another instance of taking the story & characters a bit too much at face value, ignoring the subtext and subtleties within the narrative.
A THREAD.
A THREAD.
I've discussed in my EP29 thread the parallels between Subaru/Rem; this also goes for their idealization of their loved one, after being saved & finding a sense of worth/purpose through that person. However, the way Rem goes about it is slightly different. https://twitter.com/Jaereku/status/1288628277251387394?s=20
Rem has built an image of him from her experience; the only Subaru she saw was the hero who saved & validated her. Her devotion is to that Subaru alone—the drawback of that kind of love being that if he changes, she'll be disillusioned, and their relationship would end painfully.
That's why instead of taking the perfect opportunity to have him to herself in EP18, she denies him. She weaponizes her unconditional love to set high expectations for him, so he can live up to being REM'S HERO once again, because she knows he can. Her love is strict & exacting.
This way of achieving success by assuring unconditional love (NOT unconditional acceptance) to reach a high expectation is a known psychological principle, often used in parenting. "Mindsets" by Carol Dwecks gives a concrete example of this through the educator Marva Collins:
Sound familiar? Let's dig deeper!
As we read in the novel, this principle is the "obligation" Subaru has to fulfill as her Hero. This is how Nagatsuki-sensei incorporates principles from psychology of personal growth into his story, concluding Subaru's character arc in Arc 3.
As we read in the novel, this principle is the "obligation" Subaru has to fulfill as her Hero. This is how Nagatsuki-sensei incorporates principles from psychology of personal growth into his story, concluding Subaru's character arc in Arc 3.
We learn in EP29 that this was exactly what Subaru needed to break out of his stagnancy & start working on himself. While he was looking for a way out—that is to be put down and justify himself giving up—Rem denied him that, instead giving him the push he needed.
That's where the beauty of their relationship lies; and it's far beyond just a girl giving unconditional love & acceptance, or a guy being healed just from a long dialogue, something I see people simplify the scene to far too often.
Thank you for reading!
Thank you for reading!
As a side note, I might add that Rem putting someone on a pedestal and hanging onto that image of them is in line with her character, as seen with her idealization of Ram, even if she's slowly growing from being a faceless replacement to finding her own identity through Subaru.
