PSA: People need to see color when it comes to race. It's totally fine for you & your kid to see color. Stop wearing race colorblindness like a badge of honor. It is potentially dangerous. Why? Here’s a story: 1/14

The boyfriend & I watched an Unsolved Mysteries episode about a 23 yr old Black man who was found dead after attending a party with friends in rural KS. Aside from the obvious messed up investigation and search for his body, I was unnerved by what happened before he died. 2/14

Why? Because it made me think about home and how we grew up in a predominantly white town with mostly white friends that we hung out with all of the time. Alonzo Brooks went to this party 50 miles from home with his white friends. He was the only Black person there. 3/14

When interviewed, Alonzo’s friends said that "they didn't see color" back then and "they were just all friends". I cringed. That’s a big problem. Why? Because they all left at some point and figured Alonzo would get with one of them or find his way home eventually. 4/14

This was after he had been involved in what appeared to be a racially motivated exchange. Later it was said that racial slurs were thrown around, but they still left him. It never occurred to them that he wasn't safe & finding a way home meant something different for Alonzo. 5/14

They made it home that night. Alonzo did not. It made me wonder if some of my friends or my boyfriend's friends in HS/college would have left us 50 miles from home at a party, because they figured we would be OK? Because I've definitely been told: "I forgot you were Black". 6/14

I remember ending up at a friend of a friend's house several times and feeling uneasy as the "only one". One time in HS, I was a ready to leave and a friend suggested that a guy I didn’t know drive me back to my truck. HARD PASS. I stood my ground. We all left together. 7/14

At the time, I was more concerned with what could happen to me as a female. But in hindsight, I realize that she thought it was fine to let a random white guy I didn't know drive me somewhere in rural TX. She forgot I was Black and that someone might not like people like me. 8/14

This is why I’ve had to remind friends not to drive through certain towns & why I was more reserved in some of their shenanigans. They could pretend to pocket lipstick in Target for a “fun” pic or sneak through someone’s backyard. I could not. I’m not a buzzkill, just Black. 9/14

This is why my boyfriend gets nervous when white friends leave their kids with him in public to run a quick errand. They think nothing of it, because they know the kid is safe. Meanwhile, he’s counting the seconds until they get back & hoping the kid doesn’t cry or scream. 10/14

Trust me. I would love to not have to think about it, but that’s not reality. I have to stay vigilant. But you can help! See color. Recognize color. Acknowledge color. Talk about color and how it means different things to different people…sometimes not great things. 11/14

When you “don’t see color” you’re not thinking about how different rules and standards may apply. You may be more likely to use microaggressions, dismiss experiences, or even gaslight…all unintentionally. Believe me, I know that it has very little to do with intent. 12/14

Just take some time to think and remember. Don’t forget that your friends and colleagues are Black. Don’t let your kids forget that their Black friends are Black. You may not think about it, but others do. Words are bad enough, but for Alonzo Brooks, it was his life. 13/14

I’m not here to blame his friends. Anything could have happened that night, even if they stayed together. But I am asking you to remember that safety is huge and in certain spaces, we may only be safe by association. We look out for ourselves but a little help doesn’t hurt. 14/14