Author friends, I say this with the greatest love (and a few years’ experience, now): STOP CHECKING GOODREADS.

Full disclosure, I was obsessed with my rating and reviews when FOTL’s ARCs first came out. How can you not?! You’re a new author. And as an Asian woman, it was like checking up on my first kid’s report card. People are 100% entitled to be honest there. And honesty can hurt.

I tell this story at events bc it’s sad: one day, shortly before my debut released, I drank a lot of wine (a LOT OF WINE) and read through all of my one-star reviews. Didn’t reply. Didn’t subtweet. Just read them dispassionately. And that was how I got Goodreads out of my system.

I wouldn’t say I recommend that, but like, it worked. And I also think it’s something that comes with more experience: acknowledging that your words now belong to others. Petty-texting friends you trust, and then letting it go. I know it’s hard. I KNOW.

It can be devastating when you work SO HARD and spend years trying to get published only to have someone rip your book apart. This is a pain you do not fully understand until you’re an author. But there are private ways to handle the hurt. In public, you’ll always be the bad guy.