Y'all, this morning my dear friend and I had such a rich conversation about identity and perception that I have to share. She gave me her permission.
My main takeaway revolves around whiteness looking to claim more of itself as a way around dealing with otherness.

My friend identifies as Latina and in conversation with some white friends, they said that for them she was white. My friend was stunned and was quick to explain how she has never seen herself as white and was always conscious of her ethnic and racial identity.

So, beyond her shock upon hearing this, I explained how this made a lot of sense to me. Being in our very white working environment, where difference is underemphasized, I could see how folks would assume whiteness until *informed* otherwise.

There are a ton of assumptions wrapped up in that process and unpacking that could take more than a minute. Which is what brought me to this idea of whiteness seeking itself until corrected as a sort of time & energy-saving psych tactic.

If you belong to the dominant group, it would serve you to avoid dealing with difference because that's something that might slow you down or complicate your picture of what is or should be.

As a parallel I offered the example of my male teaching partner pointing out the dearth of male faculty in our division a few years ago and me being surprised that I hadn't thought of it before. (Dominant group bias)

Now that acknowledging difference is on the agenda, we're having very different conversations with each other, specifically related to identity. It's exciting and definitely a little scary. We're teachers, we struggle with using that mistake-making license.

My friend also pointed out the ways that our backgrounds shape our awareness. "We can only see through the glasses of what we were exposed to," she said. I had to write it down. Makes sense, right?
My mother leaned on this horn: Exposure, exposure, exposure!

It was such a good, healing kind of conversation between friends who get each other. It reminded me again of the ways PoC must become expert in the ways of whiteness as a coping strategy.
My time is up for this thread but, yeah, the wheels are turning...