Well folks, I think it’s time for me to bid everybody a fond Twitter adieu. I’ll be permanently deactivating this account tomorrow. It’s been a blessing to get to know everyone, but I’m not sure there’s a point to this account now. The reason why I created it...

...no longer exists, and I can’t figure out a new one. Oddly enough, and despite all of the wonderful people I’ve met here, there’s always been an undercurrent of negativity for me. Recently, the negativity has worsened...Doubled really. I’ve been trying desperately to...

...escape it, but it follows me offline, too. I returned briefly earlier today, only to be met with the same difficulty yet again. This year gives no respite or restful pause to the weary! Instead, it torments us with unending horrors and then laughs at us when we beg for peace.

It’s like Satan is controlling the whole thing!

I’m praying that I can cut off the roots of this pervasive negativity by deleting my account...Maybe then I can deal with the outgrowth? I don’t even know what else to try.

To be honest, I don’t think "my” account really...

...represents me anyway. A girl here told me that she loved my confidence, and I thought to myself, "I’m a better actor than I imagined.”

You see, any confidence that you sense in me is a bluff. Any confidence that a woman detects is the result of a very good bluff.

Through poker, I’ve discovered that I bluff exceedingly well. I detect "tells” even through the computer, too.

I just don’t want to curate a bluff Twitter account.

The real me is a sap. I imagine the world to be a Hallmark movie...The pretty big city lawyer ALWAYS marries...

...the handsome Christmas tree farmer. And then it snows. So idealic.

Life doesn’t work that way, though, and I’m struggling to hide my sappy, sensitive self and give my 5K+ followers what I assume they want. The tweets that gain me the most followers/plaudits are the ones...

...least like me. What does that do for my confidence level? Eww. Nothing good! "People like faux Nate better than real Nate," I think.

And so here we are! Fake fun Nate has 5000 followers. When I tweet about Jesus, the guy who actually matters to me, I lose followers.

WHY???

Is He that offensive to people? I don’t unfollow my friends who aren’t Christian. I love y’all and respect your religious beliefs, or unbelief. I mean, show me on the doll where the Jesus tweet hurt you! I don’t cram the Bible down your throat. Lol. I’m not gonna try.

Bible pushing didn’t work on me. I quite literally required God to speak to me before I listened at all. Until then, I scoffed at Jesus, too. Really! I was an atheist!

I’m not an atheist now, though, because Jesus loved me enough to save me. He didn’t hesitate to fight for me.

Maybe, just maybe, I’m not fighting for Him. If Jesus accepts me, and He does, why should I care about fitting in here? Why not just be myself and see what happens? It’s scary! Anyone who still follows the real me would be a wonderful blessing tho.

I’m truly free writing btw.

But how do I deal with that negativity here? I don’t know! It’s just so unlike me to confront anyone, except for work. I have no trouble with business confrontation...just fired a nasty client with unique savagery and slept well afterward...But I just want to escape from my...

...personal issues here. I just don’t know if that’s even possible now. If not, I’ll keep my Twitter account because deleting wouldn’t help. If I can free myself from my troubles without leaving, I’ll keep it.

If I’ve got to leave to end the negativity, though, I’m gone.

This is the best I’ve ever felt about my relationship with Twitter since the very first day. What a blessing!