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Toxic people rarely just leave & that's it
They try to come back, masked in a sweeter form
They try to come back, masked in a sweeter form
'Why do I get bitten by the same snakes so many times?'
Because you don't know about the dance...
Because you don't know about the dance...
'The dance?'
Yes, the dance
An important social principle you want to understand when dealing with toxicity
Yes, the dance
An important social principle you want to understand when dealing with toxicity
'What is it exactly?'
The dance is the back & forth stage AFTER cutting ties with someone
The dance is the back & forth stage AFTER cutting ties with someone
In a clear world, we cut ties with someone & that's it
But in the real world, when we cut ties with someone, that's when the game begins
But in the real world, when we cut ties with someone, that's when the game begins
This is why a lot of people keep going back to a toxic relationship or friendship
They fell victim to the swinging motion of the toxic Individual
They fell victim to the swinging motion of the toxic Individual
The dance can manifest in different forms:
-im a changed person now
-i didn't know what I did was bad
-i have problems, please help
-my friends made me
-it was a one time error
Blah blah blah
-im a changed person now
-i didn't know what I did was bad
-i have problems, please help
-my friends made me
-it was a one time error
Blah blah blah
'Are you saying these points aren't valid?'
Nah, I'm not saying that
The points can be valid
Nah, I'm not saying that
The points can be valid
But you'll never FULLY know if the points are valid or not
And when we FULLY don't know something, we are plunged into uncertainty
And when we FULLY don't know something, we are plunged into uncertainty
Uncertainty is what causes us to second guess ourselves
'Hm...maybe I'm being to harsh' you say.
And with this statement, you have officially accepted the dance.
'Hm...maybe I'm being to harsh' you say.
And with this statement, you have officially accepted the dance.
A time consuming process
The person has come back in a sweeter form
Wow, magical
The person has come back in a sweeter form
Wow, magical
Few stay like this
So bravo for winning the bet & capitalizing on your uncertainty
So bravo for winning the bet & capitalizing on your uncertainty
Unfortunately, many go back to their old ways
Most do
That's when the fake sweetness has melted & you are now back to where you started
Most do
That's when the fake sweetness has melted & you are now back to where you started
You wasted a lot of time
And unfortunately, your bet on the uncertainty didn't play out as expected...
Sorry bud
And unfortunately, your bet on the uncertainty didn't play out as expected...
Sorry bud
That's how we learn though
We need to feel doubt before we move with conviction
We need to be wrong many times to be right once
We need to feel foolish to feel wise
We need to feel doubt before we move with conviction
We need to be wrong many times to be right once
We need to feel foolish to feel wise
Don't be too upset you got played by the dance
Happens to the best of us
In all forms of interactions with humans
Social judgment is built via pain alone
Happens to the best of us
In all forms of interactions with humans
Social judgment is built via pain alone
But the next time, you'll know that you didn't just cut out a toxic person for no reason
There were a LOT of moments that built up to it
There were a LOT of moments that built up to it
And hopefully, you'll keep those moments in mind when they try to come back from the dance
For more social skills insights, follow @ArmaniTalks
For more social skills insights, follow @ArmaniTalks
