Read on Twitter
5/n... assign value to any security in company sale. All the various series of pref shares have different clauses and ratchets such that any value ascribed to one series would trigger share issuance to another series and so on, such that the share count would be infinite.
6/n After showing this to the board and an apeshit foaming-about-the-mouth CFO, I told them I would only take their forecast, and base any valuation on that forecast as a "given", and put a valuation on the company as a whole, without ascribing value to any security. They agreed
7/n After delivering the valuation to the client (and management), I reminded them that the joke of a valuation on their joke of a company was not to be relied upon. But the government handout wasn't nearly enough, the shareholders needed to kick in capital, fast...
8/n As the different shareholders, almost all with different instruments, began to fight over terms of a cash infusion, The aforementioned numnuts CFO pulled out my "valuation" as an "independent formal valuation from a third party". I didn't know this happened until...
9/n I got a voice mail message from a saucy fellow at a very large Boston-based mutual fund company that was an investor in this thing demanding my "model" and how I arrived at such and "absurd" valuation and so on. I just ghosted the chap, not returning any calls.
10/n For two days my phone rang with increasingly hysterical and rude messages from this fella. I decided to finally pick up. He was unaware that he had fucked up the terms on prior deal so badly that he would probably be sacked if his superiors found out. I filled him in.
11/11 I never received any further phone calls, nor heard from the company. They did close a financing round and the company went under perhaps a year later. Hundreds of millions eviscerated including taxpayer funds. #TalesFromInvestmentBanking
