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Let’s talk about ACCOUNTABILITY (thread):
Accountability means taking responsability for your actions & understanding the part you play in situations. It’s admitting when you’re wrong & apologizing - yes this is a part of taking accountability.
Accountability means taking responsability for your actions & understanding the part you play in situations. It’s admitting when you’re wrong & apologizing - yes this is a part of taking accountability.
Accountability isn’t just realizing when you are wrong & apologizing. It’s also taking responsability for changing that behavior you just apologized for. It’s committing to be more mindful of your actions & the ways they affect others in the future.
You take accountability for yourself. It gives you power.
When you admit you were wrong, you gain the opportunity to become more self-aware, to let that thing teach you & become smarter & better. You also gain the power to change that thing about yourself.
When you admit you were wrong, you gain the opportunity to become more self-aware, to let that thing teach you & become smarter & better. You also gain the power to change that thing about yourself.
If you never admit to your faults, you can’t fix them. Accountability is the first step to change.
Accountability allows us to step out of victim mode, where things are happening TO you, & into creator mode where things happen FOR you.
Accountability allows us to step out of victim mode, where things are happening TO you, & into creator mode where things happen FOR you.
If you’re a victim, you have no ”control” over anything. You choose to see yourself as powerless & as someone who just has bad things happen to her.
Realizing you are actually the creator of your reality gives you the power to control what your life looks like.
Realizing you are actually the creator of your reality gives you the power to control what your life looks like.
This is why it doesn’t matter whether other people are doing it or not. I see people saying ”well when group x will take accountability I will too”.
But YOU take accountability so that YOU can be better. Regardless of whether other people are doing it or not. It serves YOU.
But YOU take accountability so that YOU can be better. Regardless of whether other people are doing it or not. It serves YOU.
Accountability is NOT:
- Yes I was wrong but you were wrong too.
- Yes I fucked up but you just drive me so crazy.
- Yes I got angry because you MAKE me angry.
- I’m sorry but I don’t think it’s that big of a deal.
- I’m sorry IF you feel like I hurt you.
- Yes I was wrong but you were wrong too.
- Yes I fucked up but you just drive me so crazy.
- Yes I got angry because you MAKE me angry.
- I’m sorry but I don’t think it’s that big of a deal.
- I’m sorry IF you feel like I hurt you.
Notice how all of these sentences are either deflecting to someone else’s behavior or still in victim mode, by blaming the other person & saying ”you MADE me do this” when in reality, nobody can make you do anything. You are 100% responsible for your reactions & actions.
You also can’t hold someone else accountable. BM hating BW love to say they’re ”holding men accountable” but thats not even a real thing.
You can only bring something to their attention. They then have the option to either take accountability or not. You can’t do it for them.
You can only bring something to their attention. They then have the option to either take accountability or not. You can’t do it for them.
Learn the words:
”I was wrong.”
”You were right.”
”I’m sorry.”
”I commit to changing x aspect about myself.”
”I was wrong.”
”You were right.”
”I’m sorry.”
”I commit to changing x aspect about myself.”
You are responsible for what your reality looks like. You create all of your experiences for yourself.
Nothing in your life happens to ”punish” you or to hurt you, everything happens to teach you & show you something about yourself.
Nothing in your life happens to ”punish” you or to hurt you, everything happens to teach you & show you something about yourself.
All the people you meet in your life come to reflect aspects of YOURSELF back to you. We attract people into our lives who show us the same patterns that come from our traumas, so that we would realize what they are, heal them & finally be free from the cycles.
So while you are not responsible for other people’s actions, you are responsible for the reason they came into your life.
Ask yourself: what is this situation showing me about myself?
What is this relationship teaching me?
What can I take away from this experience?
Ask yourself: what is this situation showing me about myself?
What is this relationship teaching me?
What can I take away from this experience?
Sidenote: a lot of people have a difficulty to take accountability in the moment, for an example in the middle of an argument or right after doing something. They might need to take some time before they can come back & admit to their wrongs & apologize.
The goal is to learn how to take accountability IN THE MOMENT. Right as you do something, you have to be able to realize what you did.
So work towards being able to take accountability right away when someone brings something up to you or you catch yourself.
So work towards being able to take accountability right away when someone brings something up to you or you catch yourself.
I’m also adding this because I know y’all will ask anyways: Accountability is a masculine attribute.
The reason why so many Black people don’t know how to be accountable is because there is currently a huge imbalance of masculine energy. They are in a state of hyperfemininity.
The reason why so many Black people don’t know how to be accountable is because there is currently a huge imbalance of masculine energy. They are in a state of hyperfemininity.
