I've seen a few posts from people about "wanting fans", so I'm gonna take a dive into it that's way too deep cuz I feel this is a pretty important topic, especially after the recent allegations that came out last month. I'm not as big a name, but here's some of my experiences.

I generally found the kindness of my fans a bit strange to deal with - they didn't really know me, but there becomes a responsibility to portray yourself a certain way and also to be nice and not get into trouble or w/e.

I think it's one of the (many) reasons I wasn't vocal about SJW stuff until more recently, but anyway. I've had a few people say like "oh you seem really nice!" and that's cool, but it's pretty easy to portray yourself as nice on social media

(though maybe not nowadays considering how Mad i am most of the time lmao)

In general, most of my fans were from America, and that showed when I went to Smash Con - some people asked for photos, and a lot asked for games. Having people say "Hey, your videos got me PRd!" and they're just glowing over it made me really, really happy.

I generally tried to interact with people as much as possible to try and help them. I used to reply to every YT comment, but I stopped after people would ask "how do I SH Uair" when, like, the video they're literally commenting on explains how to do it LOL but yknow

Anyway, without going into too much detail, I ended up with what we'll call a Hyperfan. After I blocked them for saying a transphobic thing, they had a breakdown and messaged me on Twitch and Discord and stuff.

Rather than just move on, I thought I could use my status in some way to try and help this person understand trans issues... but then they took this to mean that we were friends, and started trying to talk frequently, asking for RTs and follows, and so on.

He also subbed to me for 11 months and gave out a load of subs. Basically, Twitch only actually pays out if you reach X amount of money, and it put me in this weird position where I only actually got the £60 from people's subs this year because this guy subbed so much

It just creates this really weird dynamic that imo isn't healthy at all for "friends" to have. To clarify, it's not like "oh, the money is making me not shut this down" was a factor - I thought the X amount that Twitch needed was WAY higher, so I was surprised to get anything

Recently with the allegations, it came out that he'd been talking sexually to a 15 year old (he's in his 20s), so I blocked him from Twitch, Twitter, and so on.

The reason I bring all of this is up is that I learnt a lot from this - I should have set boundaries early, explained we're not friends, and I'm just someone playing Fox. That's all.

(And maybe the pressure of wanting to appear like a better person than I am made me not do this, or maybe that's actually why I call people out to virtue signal or w/e else shit some SmashUK people said about me, but that's an aside >.>)

This is probably the most negative interaction I had, and I'm quite lucky in that regard. I've also had some great ones, like a Celeste runner who hit me up with advice and watched my VODs to give me help. He's a super cool guy in general too (<3 u Flesh)

The point of writing all this is that I'm 24. I was 20 when I started making content, and these are lessons I only learned now... and I didn't even interact with my fans *that* much.

Having power in a dynamic where you're talking with peers is a huge responsibility and I really worry about the teenagers in the scene with this kind of dynamic. You can accidentally enable toxic behaviour like I did, or even have the dynamic reversed and be preyed upon

I think it's something that we should possibly consider more as a scene, but I'm not entirely sure how to go about it. I hope mostly that this thread can help some people who want fans self reflect on what is they want - is it validation or responsibility?

Bleh I'm worried this comes off as super preachy or w/e but ye hopefully this helps some people that were thinking about this kind of stuff. Also, to clarify, I'm really grateful for all the people who helped and supported me over the years

Even though it was surreal and kind of weird, I really enjoyed meeting people I helped when I went to America. And, fuck, the fact I got to go to America at all. Was real cool. Thanks <3

Just, idk, power dynamics are weird ig so ye