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Ngl the reason I'll defend Angel to death is because I relate to aspects of his character and he's written realistically. Kind of a personally thread but I'll be brief.
Be forewarned, I'm about to vent about personal shit though I'll be vague
Be forewarned, I'm about to vent about personal shit though I'll be vague
To be brief, I've been in two toxic relationships moreso emotional abuse then physical. One of my exes even had me feeling guilty for shit like getting into a car crash instead of calling him (my tire blew and I lost control) and not answering my phone when I was asleep at 12am
I've also been sexually assaulted twice. I wont go into details because it still hurts. I never did anything about it legally and I regret that the most but I was 19 and ashamed
We see in both Addict, the comic, and the pilot that Angel copes with his toxic and abusive relationship with Val through both sex and drugs. I didn't cope that way. Instead I became angry and prone to self harm. I'm a recovering buleimic who lost 70Ibs in <4 months.
I was self destructive, prone to suicidal idealation, and isolating myself. To others I was a successful grad student with a dark sense of humor. I'm no actor but I mask. After suffering a mental break where I stayed in bed for 2 days crying, I went to therapy for the 1st time
There is a moment in the comic where he jokes about the idea of redemption. About being better. I get the mentality. I justified what my exes did because I "deserved" it. It's hard to see yourself as better when you feel like you deserve the fucked up shit happening to you.
Recovering is hard. I still have binge/purge episodes. I still have depression and anxiety. I'm still very angry. I'm with a loving and patient partner and I struggle with intimacy because of all this. Yes I'm no prude on here but intimacy is still very hard for me.
I also know it's silly to compare myself with a character in a dumb cartoon but Vivzie talked about her coming up with this character as a comfort character for her when she was in a toxic relationship and I can feel that with what has been released.
I love this slutty spider so much because his character feels genuine to me and makes me laugh with his asshole behavior. I also know from talking to people that I'm not the only one feeling this way. There are a lot of people with similar baggage unfortunately.
If you've made it through the whole thread, thanks for reading. I dont want asspats for getting my shit together. I should have done it earlier and I hurt people because of it. I just needed to vent because when people say he's written as a mockery of abuse, they're full of shit
I also dont feel bad venting here because its anonymous and detached from my offline (and my partner is on here but he knows all this). I know I'm a giant fag right now but insomnia is a bitch and I'm feeling venty.
Love yourself and be kind, especially to yourself.
