the reason it's so hard to get cis people to care about the opinions of trans women is because many of them see us as both men and women at the same time, and will apply the negative stereotypes of both of these genders to us

for people who've internalized that we're men, whenever we bring up any grievances they typically do one of two things. first thing, they might acknowledge hardships we face but will try to emotionally downplay it, like we're angry men they're trying to placate.

second thing they will do is think that because we're men we must be tough, and therefore should be able to handle any problems on our own (this is sexist on so many levels and i can't even get into it right now)

for people who've internalized that we're women (on some level at least) it's easier to explain. they see us as hysterical, unbalanced. shrill, ugly, undesirable women demanding things we didn't earn.

and some people have internalized both at the same time, to the point where their stereotypical view of a trans women is filled with impossible contrasts. we are both hulking brutes and tearful, manipulative shrews. too feminine to be men and too masculine to be women

if we are too feminine that means we're emboldening sexist stereotypes, if we are too masculine we're disgusting and not even trying.

if we pass we're a sinister, deceitful threat. if we don't we are a loud and aggressive one.

this all creates a culture and a worldview where there is no way for a trans woman to win. and it all starts with taking offense at being asked to listen