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Are you a white dude who talks about his "Viking heritage" and thinks those were the good old days when "men were men & women were women"?
Let a medievalist give you some tips on how to be an Authentic Viking Man!
First: make sure there's lace on your clothes. #MedievalTwitter
Let a medievalist give you some tips on how to be an Authentic Viking Man!
First: make sure there's lace on your clothes. #MedievalTwitter
Honestly, it's best to go to Turkey for your clothes. Serve the emperor there and get into the local fashions. Lots of colors, lots of silk, lots of embroidery. When you come home, everyone will call you "the Elegant."
According to the Arab historian Ibn Rusta, a Very Viking Man Thing to Do is to go to the bathroom in groups (so nobody gets stabbed!).
Viking funeral? Great! Make sure you light the boat on fire while you're naked and covering your anus! It's authentic!
(Ibn Fadlan)
(Ibn Fadlan)
One very popular way to prove you're a Man according to the sagas is to publicly claim that you fucked another guy. Everyone will be very impressed how manly you are for being a Top. The other dude will be mad, bc he doesn't want word getting around he's a Bottom.
But you don't need to bottom-shame! Just send a cute message in runes to your dude friend, telling him to kiss you! For extra fun, put it in code:
https://www.rawstory.com/2014/02/recently-deciphered-viking-rune-hints-at-a-queer-playfulness-to-violent-norse-culture/
https://www.rawstory.com/2014/02/recently-deciphered-viking-rune-hints-at-a-queer-playfulness-to-violent-norse-culture/
A big part of Old Norse society that all men support? Women's right to divorce! Especially if she's been mistreated or abused in anyway. Or if sex with her husband isn't good.
Yes, this will probably mean that children will make fun of you by re-enacting the public trial where your wife divorced you for not having sex, but that's the price you pay for a good society!
Want a proper Viking pet? How about a cat? https://www.sciencealert.com/cats-sailed-with-vikings-to-conquer-the-world-genetic-study-reveals
Don't forget that Old Norse proverb!
“Svá ergisk hverr sem eldisk”
[sooner or later, we all end up effeminate]
Live by those words! I certainly do!
“Svá ergisk hverr sem eldisk”
[sooner or later, we all end up effeminate]
Live by those words! I certainly do!
Seriously, though, the racist and sexist misappropriation of "Viking" civilization and culture is completely inauthentic and based on the modern sexism and white supremacy of the people who practice it.
See this piece by @dorothyk98 : https://time.com/5569399/viking-history-white-nationalists/
See this piece by @dorothyk98 : https://time.com/5569399/viking-history-white-nationalists/
Awwww this got popular!
While you’re here, please check out my soundcloud:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1s2v4SpMt0UESfrQJyPliFupbFLCT2cZdNxkPM7kWXQM/mobilebasic# https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/lebanon-relief?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=socpledgedesktop&utm_content=lebanon-relief&utm_campaign=post-pledge-desktop&utm_term=JdWX8mNWr
While you’re here, please check out my soundcloud:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1s2v4SpMt0UESfrQJyPliFupbFLCT2cZdNxkPM7kWXQM/mobilebasic# https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/lebanon-relief?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=socpledgedesktop&utm_content=lebanon-relief&utm_campaign=post-pledge-desktop&utm_term=JdWX8mNWr
Bonus Viking Man content: wanna sell your ax? Ask a potential buyer if he will have sex with you in exchange for it!
When he asks if that's how YOU paid for it, laugh and just give him the ax. You're now friends. https://twitter.com/erik_kaars/status/1179412009789599746
When he asks if that's how YOU paid for it, laugh and just give him the ax. You're now friends. https://twitter.com/erik_kaars/status/1179412009789599746
Also, invite your neighbors to stay with you for the winter but make sure they know if you're not much fun to be around! https://twitter.com/erik_kaars/status/1058033660669116418
In answers to Q's about the Ibn Fadlan quote & the enslaved woman burned with the warrior: she's not burned alive; she was murdered shortly before as part of a ritual sacrifice. Enslaved women could lead pretty awful lives. The Vikings were not paragons of gender equality.
We can't reduce the Vikings (not even really their name) to a simple narrative. As even the above quotes show, their ideas about sexuality, masculinity, and women were complicated and variable. They're not who MRA/racists want them to be, but they're not feminists either.
Scandinavian women could be warriors, & modern sexism prevented us from seeing that, by assuming that skeletons buried with weapons are male. But their society could also be sexist & homophobic. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/news/2017/09/viking-warrior-woman-archaeology-spd/
Medieval societies were as complex & contradictory as modern ones. Racists & MRAs will never find their idea of "traditional" gender roles in the past. Their narratives -- & those of pop-cultural shows like "Vikings" -- say more about our modern moment than they do about the past
