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Time to do my first thread: Why Polyamory Is Attractive To Women
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Yes, I think polyamory is mostly advocated by women. Although (high-SMV) men may also be attracted to the whole 'not having to commit to sex with just one person' thing, I think polyamory offers women something even more enticing.
What do women want from relationships? First and foremost, it's security. A woman is essentially a prey animal. Our lives are constant risk management. We are always on the lookout for danger. Men want to find a woman who gets them. Women want to find a man they feel safe with.
One of the most dangerous things for a woman is the jealousy of her man. It can get us killed. I bet every woman who's dated men has been afraid of her partner's jealousy. His reaction when he hears an ex contacted us or when we go out for drinks with male colleagues.
We get very good at soothing that jealousy and skirting around it. We learn to not tell them someone hit on us on a girls' night out. We restrict our emotional expression around male friends to not seem too loving.
But this is not living fully. This is not emotional security.
But this is not living fully. This is not emotional security.
Polyamory is a culture that denounces jealousy. Yes, polyamorists still experience jealousy, but it loses its status as a respected feeling, as one that justifies violent responses. For women, this is a form of safety, and that safety is very attractive.
With a polyamorous partner, I can express myself and my feelings freely, without having to self censor out of fear of offending him. From saying I think an actor on TV is hot to recounting stories about my ex, I can speak freely without constant fear of triggering the Jealousy.
If I get a crush on a mutual friend, I can tell him about it immediately without spending hours agonizing over whether or not I am morally obligated to tell and worrying about his reaction. That feeling of freedom, that spontaneity is wonderful.
And if his reaction is "aww, well he's a pretty awesome guy, isn't he?"
That chillness, that lack of going into defense mode like he's being threatened? That's super hot. Because it makes me feel safe.
/thread
That chillness, that lack of going into defense mode like he's being threatened? That's super hot. Because it makes me feel safe.
/thread
