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There’s a worrying trend in spiritual communities right now that equates validity with acceptability, i.e. my anger is valid and therefore you must accept it.
Yes, your emotions are valid insofar as you are experiencing them & they are real & worthy of examination. No, people do not have to accept your behavior just because it stems from a valid emotion.
The argument from validity would have us “hold space” for all sorts of toxic, damaging behaviors & personally I am not here for it.
I’ve seen people finger point & call others “unevolved” & “unconscious” for setting firm boundaries & being clear about what behavior is acceptable/unacceptable. Pro-tip: evolved, conscious people understand & honor the boundaries of others.
It is not evolved to scream abuse at someone. The feeling (anger) may be valid. Even the desire (to scream) may be valid. But that doesn’t mean you get to decide whether someone else should find your behavior acceptable.
Boundaries are an essential part of our psychological, emotional, & spiritual development. So is the acknowledgement of consequences & acceptance of responsibility. You scream in my face, I might walk away from you. I am not “rejecting your authentic self,” I am preserving mine.
You can, of course, elect to behave however you like. Free will! Heck yeah! You can follow your valid emotions down whatever path you please. But the choices you make /will/ dictate what that journey looks like. Other people are not obliged to roll out the red carpet for you ~
just because you “lived authentically” without doing the internal work necessary to self-regulate.
