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How some BG on tiktok are messing up their chances
pls, im a black girl myself and completely understand the feelings of insecurity that some of you may have gone through and have a lot of empathy for that & take it in consideration. BUT acting socially stunted is not the way sis. It really isn't.
so I assume we're all aware of what's going on with black girls on tiktok..
a few days ago I came across this and thought, yk what? let's have a discussion because this has occurred a lot more than necessary. Too many black girls are making up suspicions about race when it wasn't necessary.
this was the tiktok he was talking about btw. it's just a regular silly couple tiktok lol. nothing hinted at race whatsoever.
now this one specifically mentioned BG in positive light but people are still sceptical. it almost seems for guys in general to be in a "damned if they do, damned if they don't" situation with how a lot of BG react to both positive & negative attention.
we're the only ones going out their way to ask other guys if they like us, which reeks a lack of self validation. but if a guy DOES show a lot of interested unprovoked, BG don't trust it. but why? (I'll add a better example when I've found the vid I was actually talking abt)
not to mention that BG constantly put themselves down in front of an entire online audience. A lot of them start sounding like femcels and it leaves a bad taste.
There are countless of videos like this. They're pretty much feeding each other negativity and tearing each other down, no matter the follower count or looks. I don't see other girls do this at all.
the sound basically hints that she can't get a bf solely because she's black. again, very incel-like (femcel)
Dont get me wrong bc I've seen a lot of cute BG tiktoks as well but this seems to be a common theme.. why are we okay with this? why is putting ourselves down so acceptable? it has gotten to the point where other demographics can chime in and poke fun at us as well on tiktok.
it's just really sad. just think abt it.. why is this okay to you?
It's almost an open secret how socially stunted some BG act online, and what worries me the most is how it will backfire on other BG. (mind you the sound is from an actual BG)
It's almost an open secret how socially stunted some BG act online, and what worries me the most is how it will backfire on other BG. (mind you the sound is from an actual BG)
In all honesty, would YOU enjoy dating someone that would seem that deeply insecure? You simply wouldn't. So why would any guy want to be with someone that would turn their own RACE into an issue?
This is not an attack, I know how hard it can be for BG but subconsciously tearing—
This is not an attack, I know how hard it can be for BG but subconsciously tearing—
ourselves down is not helpful at all. Especially if we don't have that "extra" boost of positive media for the every day unambiguous BG. Do you understand how it may backfire? Use your platform to lift yourself & other BG up. Younger ones might see this and feel down by—
seeing an insanely gorgeous BG making fake scenarios where they are supposedly at the "bottom" and never acknowledged. If others (bm & the media) can't promote our true selves, then it's time for us to step up present your every day BG, instead of subconsciously telling—
ourselves and OTHERS we aren't worth it.
And BG please please please learn how to take a compliment. Whether it be your hair, skin or looks in general! TAKE that compliment. Look at them right in the eyes and say THANK YOU. even if you don't believe it, even if you aren't—
And BG please please please learn how to take a compliment. Whether it be your hair, skin or looks in general! TAKE that compliment. Look at them right in the eyes and say THANK YOU. even if you don't believe it, even if you aren't—
feeling yourself that day. Making an entire race conspiracy theory isn't necessary. Your beauty is seen and acknowledged, accept it. Rejecting compliments in general is very off putting to most ppl, so this applies to anyone really.
Another thing, instead of using tiktok as your—
Another thing, instead of using tiktok as your—
personal dairy & airing out ur insecurities for thousands of people to see.. consider investing in a diary for yourself (and maybe therapy too if possible because the amount of BG I've seen saying they want to kill themselves over being black is VERY alarming, not in the pic tho)
making yourself the butt of the joke is not the coping mechanism you're looking for as it will do a lot more damage in the long term for you.. she literally called herself a monkey. I'm really not taking the attempt at "quirky relatable humour" as an excuse.
again, I'm not attacking anyone for dealing with these feelings. it's definitely not your fault for developing this, but try getting out of this inferiority mindset because you're not only affirming it as your reality, you're also subconsciously trying to convince this to others,
which messes with your chances.
It's easier said than done but wallowing in self hate shouldn't be an option for you. Stop putting others on a pedestal and start pushing yourself and those that look like you to the front. Be gentle with yourself.
It's easier said than done but wallowing in self hate shouldn't be an option for you. Stop putting others on a pedestal and start pushing yourself and those that look like you to the front. Be gentle with yourself.
