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Adding to Saad’s brilliant thread about Lahori Elites. But first let me clearly lay out my official position: I’ve lived in and interacted with elites in many parts of the world. They do have similar traits - entitlement, questionable or absent morality, superficiality - https://twitter.com/saadahsan/status/1242456104560443392
But never have I seen people more illiterate, cruel, and toxic than the elite of Lahore. They truly, whole heartedly deserve the toxic air they get to breathe. It’s like the people exhale so much toxicity that the AQI responds to it. Ok, on to sharing first hand experiences:
1/ on a first date: ‘which Etihad first class lounge is your favorite?’
2/ ‘Hermes ka crocodile skin wala Birkin laarahe hain Papa, simple walay bohat hogaye thay’
3/ ‘fatima tum corolla mein bethi achi lago gi? larka ameer hona chahiye’
2/ ‘Hermes ka crocodile skin wala Birkin laarahe hain Papa, simple walay bohat hogaye thay’
3/ ‘fatima tum corolla mein bethi achi lago gi? larka ameer hona chahiye’
4/ Fatima, Lahore mein bohat mil jayeinge Audi, Mercedes, Porsche walay (I really thought he was about to say something like.. you wouldn’t find a good person like me though..but he said instead)....
‘lekin Lamborghini wala ek hi hai idher’ *pointing to himself*
‘lekin Lamborghini wala ek hi hai idher’ *pointing to himself*
5/ Well-meaning friend trying to set me up with her brother: yaar pichle maheenay tak bhai ka number 46 tha, thailand trip ke baad 50s mein chala gaya hoga’
6/ ‘Drugs ka thora sa issue hai but ***** walon ka beta hai!!’
7/ Marcy is my lifeline! (personal Filipino maid)
6/ ‘Drugs ka thora sa issue hai but ***** walon ka beta hai!!’
7/ Marcy is my lifeline! (personal Filipino maid)
8/ An Aitchisonian boarder explaining to me why he’s marrying his cousin: humare 100 zarkhez murabbay hein, khala ke 70 hain, ab saari family mein hi raheingi zameenain’
9/ ‘gaari mein loose change para hai, wapsi pe coffee leti aana’ when I checked dashboard: 65,000 PKR.
9/ ‘gaari mein loose change para hai, wapsi pe coffee leti aana’ when I checked dashboard: 65,000 PKR.
9/ Returning from a Eurotrip: ‘hum Rome mein thay toh meine Papa ko kaha yeh TOOTI PHAJJI building-ein hi dikhani theen toh Mall Road le jaatay humein
10/ ‘Patek Phillippe or Hublot? which watch should I buy next?’
‘dono le leta hoon’
10/ ‘Patek Phillippe or Hublot? which watch should I buy next?’
‘dono le leta hoon’
11/ ‘yaar guts check karo yaar, humari Land Cruiser, uski Khyber.. humare se lag gayi gaari, aunty nikal ke shor machane lag gayi..
i will never forget the statement that followed-
‘ek toh ghareeb, ooper se badtameez!’
i will never forget the statement that followed-
‘ek toh ghareeb, ooper se badtameez!’
12/ ‘We want to get a husky or chow chow’. Me reminding them that these breeds have thick fur coats and suffer largely in Pakistani temperatures: ‘haan par shashka bohat hai’
13/ ‘come to my farmhouse party, poore Lahore ki CREAM aarahi hai’
13/ ‘come to my farmhouse party, poore Lahore ki CREAM aarahi hai’
14/ Me describing how I need a PhD to get further in my career. Him: ‘yaar mein kis liye hoon, factory laga deinge Papa tum chala lena tumhara dil bhi behal jayega’
15/ Yaar meine apni ex ke jootay/bags pe 14 crore laga diye thay, larkiyan bari laalchi hein aaj kal
15/ Yaar meine apni ex ke jootay/bags pe 14 crore laga diye thay, larkiyan bari laalchi hein aaj kal
16/ Ordering food from Aylanto+Rinas+Sakura at once: yaar mein variety ke baghair dinner nai kar sakta
17/ ‘Edgeware Road pe apartment hai but mujhe Ritz Carlton mein hi rehna pasand hai’
18/ ‘you like avocados?...abhi Canada se import kara letay hain’
17/ ‘Edgeware Road pe apartment hai but mujhe Ritz Carlton mein hi rehna pasand hai’
18/ ‘you like avocados?...abhi Canada se import kara letay hain’
19/ Anorexic girl: ‘buss 3 kg aur lose karne hein, na huey toh OBT se lipo kara loongi shaadi season se pehle’
20/ casually asks me to check his investment portfolio for him, claiming ‘yaar choti moti investment ki hai’: $17 million.
20/ casually asks me to check his investment portfolio for him, claiming ‘yaar choti moti investment ki hai’: $17 million.
21/ ‘I manage my Dad’s properties’
22/ threatens Papa to leave the family business during tantrums
23/ gives the manager at Gaia a bundle of 5000 rupee notes and looks at me like ‘ab dekhna kessay aage peechay ghoomta hai’
24/ ‘Fatima your middle-class approach is so cute!’
22/ threatens Papa to leave the family business during tantrums
23/ gives the manager at Gaia a bundle of 5000 rupee notes and looks at me like ‘ab dekhna kessay aage peechay ghoomta hai’
24/ ‘Fatima your middle-class approach is so cute!’
hate to be ending this thread on a sad note- a filthy rich family in Lahore chose not to tell their driver that his son had passed away for 8 days so he could serve them during their son’s wedding & not go home. The old guy couldn’t see his son one last time. Lahore reeks.
