Read on Twitter
Last night I realized that everything I do in magic, from making content to being on the CAG to being here on Twitter, is specifically to help manage my addiction and compulsive spending behaviors.
Like the more I immerse myself in the game, the less appeal that cracking packs holds for me, because the surprise element isn't there any more, and somehow that mitigates my desire to just burn money on boosters
By knowing all the things and understanding percentages and shit, I can buy like one prerelease kit or whatever and scratch the itch without going ham like I used to. By having one specific subset to collect or one deck to work on, I focus my efforts and can beat the demons
Addiction is not something you cure or solve. It is something you manage and live with. And thanks be to god, I have a good strong support network to keep me from drowning in bad decisions and behaviors.
And tbh, the pandemic has helped a lot too. It's harder to lie to myself to justify spending more when there's nothing to do with all of it.
Because that's what it all boils down to. Lying to myself to come up with mediocre reasons to spend a bunch of cash on shit I only want so I can have that rush of owning.
You might think that jumping headfirst into the thing that has triggered my addictions to be a foolish idea, and hey it probably is? But the upside here is that I *know* what this is, and I can control it and manage it with a plan that I know works. (and I still get to play!)
I have a problem. I let it get the best of me before, but like our boy Djeru, I walk with my eyes open now. I'm shivam. I have an addiction. Maybe you do too. I'm not here to judge. But I am here to say that you can enjoy this game in a safer and more manageable way.
Never been a better time to take a look at your life than right now, after all. Make the most of this forced introspection. And for God's sake, think before you drop that c-note on the counter looking for that vip pack.
