Thread by @Woman4W, *A coming-out story*20 years ago today, I came out as a lesbian [...]

*A coming-out story*

20 years ago today, I came out as a lesbian to my mother. Her response was to laugh and say that she and everyone else already knew. I was relieved; I definitely thought everyone already knew, I didn't think I actually needed to 'come out' since...

1/?

I'd never been in the closet in the first place. I was a girly tomboy, in that I had long hair but wore boy's clothes, I LOVE the color pink (it's tattooed on my back, I really love pink) but hated girls toys/cartoons/etc. So why did I bother 'coming out'...

2/?

Well, a week prior to this date, I'd been the sole witness to a homophobic attack. I went to the movies with my cousin/childhood best-friend, and we'd secretly met up with our dates there. Mine a girl, his a boy. We had fun, but...

3/?

My cousin's mother came to pick us up - just as he was kissing his date goodbye. They should have hidden, they were too bold and he paid the price. We got in the car and my aunt began SCREAMING at him about being gay, there was no escape...

4/?

It was a dark and stormy night, literally. When she picked up a drink from the drink holder and smashed it into the side of his head, at the next red light he jumped out of the car on the busy road, in the rain. I was terrified...

5/?

She began interrogating me as she drove toward my house, leaving him there on the side of the road. Did I know he was gay? Had I influenced him? I don't remember what I said, I was in shock...

6/?

When we got to my house, I jumped out of the car without saying goodbye and fled inside. When I saw my mom I finally felt safe enough to break down and I started to have a full-blown panic attack but...

7/?

Through my tears I managed to explain what'd happened, that my little cousin was out there, in the dark, on the road, in the rain, all alone. My mom's boyfriend hopped in his truck and sped off to pick him up...

8/?

And for the next week I was in shock, that anyone could react like that to something as banal as being gay. FFS, we'd hidden having dates because we were 'too young to date' according to our parents. Who knew that WHO we dated mattered?

9/?

After an agonizing week, I wrote the letter the way I do everything - defiantly. I wasn't going to let my mom corner me in a car in the dark. I'd face her like a man (

) and we'd battle this out in the light of day...

10/?

She read the letter. She looked at me. She looked at the letter. She laughed. She said she and everyone already knew. She hugged me. A massive weight lifted off of me. I was fully out; I'd never have to hide anything from anyone if my mom accepted me...

11/?

So fast forward to my transition 4 years later. I desisted before medicalization was even on the table, only 2.5 years on. That's a story for another time. Suffice it to say, being a woman was fine, being a lesbian was fine, my mom was relieved...

12/?

My cousin however? He too socially transitioned, but never made it back. 'He' ended up on the medical path to 'she'. She's HSTS, she's no threat to women, but she's a hardcore TRA and the reason why is plain to see...

13/?

She's actually quite famous now; her career as a performer took off after transition. But more importantly - her mother accepts her as a 'she'. She's proud of 'her'. She'd never hit 'her' in the head with an icy drink and dump her on the side of the road...

14/?

So validation is key to survival for my cousin. TWAW because if TWAM, she's a gay man in a dress. Hiding homophobia behind a veil of 'trans acceptance' is not a healthy family dynamic, in my opinion...

15/?

I'm a lesbian. A homosexual female. I am loved and accepted as a homosexual female. So thank you to my mom, for laughing, and loving, and accepting. I could be in a much worse place mentally and physically if she hadn't.

Happy coming out day, to me.

16/16

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