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You know what, I wasn't going to elaborate on this tweet but, having had personal experience with this, I REALLY feel the need to speak up, SO buckle up folks, rant/story time. https://twitter.com/Kinklitico/status/1291578379582439424?s=20
I had a shit-dom for some time who, on numerous occasions, did not honor my safeword when I used it. He eventually he led me to believe that I didn't need a safe word. He was a sadist and I a masochist, so why would I need one?
Shit-dom and I also had a punishment dynamic, so in the beginning of our dynamic when I called red because I was bleeding (a hard limit of mine) he claimed that safewords did not apply to punishments and attempting to use it was topping from the bottom.
He also claimed that needing a safe word was me implying that I didn't trust him. I was gaslighted and made to believe that because I was a masochist, I didn't really need a safeword and that neither of our desires could possibly be met if there was one.
Honestly, it fucked me up, completely distorted my perception of consent, and led me to distrust both myself and others. It took a lot of kink education & conversations and play with good tops & therapy for me to come to the realization that the bullshit he pulled was assault.
When you disregard safewords or make someone believe that they do not need one so that you can get what you want without any regard for their safety you are committing assault. I may have more to add later, but for now, thanks for coming to my TEDtalk.
