People who’ve given birth! Let’s tell some secrets and/or underreported details of our experiences, shall we?

Sometimes, when you push, you poop!

If you’re nursing but are away from your baby, you can get so engorged that it hurts to manually express the milk. If you are partnered, make them suck it out! You really don’t want a mastitis-induced abcess!

Wear your hair up if it’s long or you will writhe a gnarly knot into the back of your head if you’re in labor on your back (which I don’t recommend)

See about renting the best pump on the market. RESEARCH!!!! I was poor and bought a horrible pump at Babies R Us that pulled so hard it siphoned blood from my breast, contaminating all the milk I’d expressed.

Many doctors are still, uh, confused when it comes to gender. They can’t pull their heads out of the biology books they studied. If you’re a pregnant trans or gnc person, know if your OB/GYN isn’t a good fit, you can change them. (Of course, doing so in the 1st trimester is best)

Sometimes the baby’s labia will be super puffy. This happens when the birthing parent’s hormones are passed to the baby before birth.

Sometimes your baby is born and doesn't stay very long. There is no pain that matches this kind. You will live on a different planet for a long time, maybe forever. But you can make it. You can find sweetness again and it will in no way dishonor the little spirit that obits you.

Demand that skin-to-skin contact. Make a fuss. If the nurses roll their eyes at you, SO WHAT. Put your baby on your chest and cry. Howl. Connect. No matter what.

You hear of feet getting wider, but they can grow longer, too. They have to balance out that front load, otherwise you'd tip!

Non-cis / non-hetero couples, be aware of a hospital's policies to be sure and your partner's needs are met and you're treated with dignity and respect while in labor. Worst case scenario, you can name your partner as your birth coach.

It's okay to list the father as "unknown." There are many reasons for this scenario. But also know it is harder to prove paternity down the line, should you seek support. DNA tests will have to happen.

Everyone will be ready to give you advice, but be sure to trust your gut, too.

Doulas are wonderful and you don't have to have a million dollars to secure one. My poor ppl insurance never covered them back in the day but I'm hearing more and more that they will! Doesn't hurt to check!

Non-gestational mothers, there are ways to induce lactation. Research is limited, but speak with a reproductive endocrinologist as well as your doctor or doula about this as a possibility. And if it can't happen, no shame in that!