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Is it time to reconsider our conceptions of Santa Claus? He is much more powerful than people know. There is ancient energy to the figure, sinister, capable - he is a genius, a tinkerer, immortal, inexhaustible... Lovecraftian being? Norse god? Let us explore these depths (1/304)
Do you imagine that Santa, traveling the earth and back again so many times, has not tangled with terrible beings of tremendous strength? Yet he lives. We must suppose him, at the least, to be a fierce brawler, able to tie the likes of Scylla and Charybdis into knots (2/304)
And we have not even considered his force of Elves - do you believe for a second that toys is all they make? There are technologies developed in black sites on north pole that
would make jaded arms dealers shudder and writhe, or turn green with Envy (3/304)
would make jaded arms dealers shudder and writhe, or turn green with Envy (3/304)
Now consider this - Santa does not bring his elves with him. He has an army, likely armed to the teeth, producing weapons and methods of concealment (not one of these sites has been found). Yet he does not even use them for his solo missions. Because he does not need them (4/304)
The sleigh bells are not for decoration or for merriment. They are a warning. A marker of territory. They say, to all manner of evil things that have tasted his wrath before, "Here flies Death." (5/304)
Now consider his sainthood. SAINT Nicholas the Wonderworker. What can we glean from this? (6/304)
It is possible that his "elves" are in fact angels he has been given command of. This makes him one of God's generals, comparable to Michael the Archangel. A force to be reckoned with. (7/304)
Why do you think Russia, U.S. still explore, posture, conduct training exercises over north pole? It is not for each other. They are looking for Nick. They want his elves. Rumor is stealth tech used in B-2 Spirit was stolen from one of his sites. Woe to he who finds him. (8/304)
The "Naughty List" has been trivialized by media. Being on naughty list does not mean coal in stocking. It means horror. It means nights of black dreams, tortured by visions of unspeakable, crawling things, insect-beasts that flit through walls & gnaw at the mind (9/304)
Likewise, if you are on nice list, you will also know. A calm comes over you, You feel like your flesh is made of iron, as if lightning courses through you arms. (10/304)
Most people are on neither naughty or nice lists - the Unlisted. The lukewarm. They drift aimlessly through life. At the end, they will be spat out. (11/304)
Santa Claus could easily kill Goku (12/304)
Some may think now that other things about Santa must be mysterious and magical (imaginations tend to run when exposed to new worlds of possibility), but we must be careful. "Ho ho ho" is not some incantation or secret signal. Sometimes laughter is just laughter. Relax (13/304)
The reindeer are real reindeer, and they are his friends, though their real names are not the ones in the songs. You could not pronounce their true names - it would sound like grinding metal or tearing plastic to your ears (14/304)
Clearly they have been augmented somehow, but the technologies or methods are beyond us. Maybe it is sufficient to say that they are able to fly "because they Believe," and leave it at that. (15/304)
