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At the start of lockdown, it quickly became evident that the earthling needed to go outside more, so we had a great idea: we could plant some of the random seed packets I’d accumulated! They were ancient and unlikely to germinate, but the point was Outdoor Fun, after all.
We found two half-full packets of watermelon seeds from 2013 and 2015. “Plant them all,” I told the earthling. “We might get a few plants.” He did, in a very large container we had lying around. #gardenofdoom
This was a mistake. (Pictured: a vast sea of watermelon plants. In the background, a 12-foot trampoline and a composter. In the middle, the handle of a garden cart, projecting up from the sea consuming it. We hope to see it again someday.)
I keep finding … unexpected tendrils. This is a container with a built-in trellis that I used last year; somehow the watermelons found it, knocked it over, and then MOVED IT FOUR FEET.
Here we have a tendril apparently deliberately heading for this support pillar. It is on concrete, fifteen feet away from the garden, very distant from the watermelons’ home. How … how did it know to come here?
(If you’re wondering what it plans to do with the pillar: my guess is joining good.)
Most ominously, here is a tendril that has worked its way over near the tomatoes. I do not need to tell you that if this goes to a head-to-head, watermelon vs. tomato war, there will be few human survivors.
Tl:dr: if I ever write a horror story, it will be full of green, growing life. And the sun will always be shining. #gardenofdoom
