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I'm a father of daughters who skateboard. My family is so lucky to live in a city like @myrichmondhill that builds the community a state of the art skatepark such as Lake Wilcox's. But here's the thing...
As blissful as it is to go there, rarely does a visit go by where we don't have to confront cismale privilege there.
Skateboarding, like most spaces, has a history and legacy of racism and sexism, if not downright misogyny. However, at skateparks in the Greater #Toronto Area, you'll rarely see this play out in outright racial slurs or overt sexism. Instead, you will often notice that boys:
1. Are comfortable treating girls as though they are invisible;
2. Claim not to realize the power they wield when in large groups, except when they can weaponize it;
2. Claim not to realize the power they wield when in large groups, except when they can weaponize it;
3. Are not accustomed to making intentional moves to make girls feel more welcome, such as applauding them for attempting something challenging, making literal and figurative space for them, or offering to help a beginner;
4. Are shocked when confronted with all of the above.
4. Are shocked when confronted with all of the above.
Arguably, these acts (or lack thereof) can be more damaging to our supposedly inclusive public spaces than if they were just overtly oppressive.
Because many girls and kids of colour walk away from the skatepark blaming themselves for why they don't fit in, rather than the real reason, which is a lack of allyship and or support necessary to overcome a history of oppression.
That's why today, I had to have undesired but necessary harsh words with a large group of adolescent boys at Lake Wilcox. Instead of apologizing, here are some examples of the things the boys said to me in protest to doing some of the above actions:
1. "It's not my fault if I can't hear the girls!" (Victim blaming.)
2. Why are you only supporting girls? There are boys here, too, you know! (All Lives Matter.)
3. "What are you gonna do about it?" (Awareness and weaponizing of Whiteness.)
2. Why are you only supporting girls? There are boys here, too, you know! (All Lives Matter.)
3. "What are you gonna do about it?" (Awareness and weaponizing of Whiteness.)
This is just a microcosm. Hope it helps illustrate just some of the work we all still have to do. We can do better than this. We must.
As @AOC has said, let's raise our daughters not to take abuse from men, AND let's raise our sons not to abuse womxn.
As @AOC has said, let's raise our daughters not to take abuse from men, AND let's raise our sons not to abuse womxn.
