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got an important word in therapy that i feel like i should share with all you tired ass hoes:
even though there's a pandemic and youre at home sitting down all the time, you STILL get tired, physically and mentally. shit like being at home and productivity look different now.
even though there's a pandemic and youre at home sitting down all the time, you STILL get tired, physically and mentally. shit like being at home and productivity look different now.
lately ive noticed ive been clinging to my old coping devices, mostly smoking too much and making 14 blankets at once, and that usually means im tired. normally when im tired i go home and rest on the couch. these days im always on the couch, so i dont notice the tiredness
we've been trained to think that youre only being productive if youre doing something that makes money or moving your body somehow. couches mean resting. you on the couch in zoom meetings all day? your brain still translates that as resting so you get tired & youre like:
'why am i so tired? ive been sitting down all day" or "yeah you had meetings but you didnt *Do* anything. but it took aaaallll your mental strength to get through all those damn meetings & mental exhaustion means physical exhaustion soooooo. you tired.
we've also lost the luxury of ritual which helps to signify 'okay, this is a time for work" and "this is a time for rest." i used to come home, take off my bra, sit on the couch & rest. now i get up, keep not wearing a bra, sit on the couch & work.
& when thats done, i get some wine, continue not wearing a bra, sit on the couch & watch the internet til my body gives up. we're just in this weird gray mashed potatoey sludge of our bodies trying to figure out what the fuck its supposed to do
we're also trained to think that we should always be available when we're at home so we dont really have work hours anymore so your brain is just always up waiting to hear that email ding & your body is hesitant to get comfy bc as soon as it does it might have to get back to work
also all this is happening during a pandemic, an uprising, & a political shitshow that makes it feel like the world is really gonna end sometimes. show me who AINT tired in all that.
so hell yeah you tired! & will STILL need a vacation at some point! you prolly need one right now and you *deserve* one bc you deserve as good a life as you can get in all this mess. choosing to struggle through it isnt fair to you. pls dont punish yourself for being tired
we've been trained to see rest as lazy bc if we're resting we're not working, and if we're not working and we're not making some selfish white dude rich & if we're not of literal worth to the folks at the top then we're worth nothing. our survival depends on unlearning that
and so, predictably and kind of annoyingly at this point, the lesson is to be nice to your punk ass self. dont be mean to yourself for 'being tired for nothing.' just being alive is a big ass something, especially now. ESPECIALLY now, you seen the news lately!?
treat rest like food. a delicious, sumptuous, fat-free, no-calorie, vegan, gluten-free, completely free food that you literally need to stay alive and continue living life in the world
also, if you were already in the house all the time before covid due to depression, anxiety, whatev & you notice that being inside is somehow harder bc your life wasnt disrupted in that way? makes complete sense. the world changed for you too.
k gonna go start a new blanket <3
k gonna go start a new blanket <3
