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As a mom, I let Mikay talk back to me as long as:
1. She doesn't hit me with anything, no throwing of toys or what not
2. She doesn't say anything foul (bad words, or anything that personally attacks me and not the issue)
3. She explain her side and point well
1. She doesn't hit me with anything, no throwing of toys or what not
2. She doesn't say anything foul (bad words, or anything that personally attacks me and not the issue)
3. She explain her side and point well
My point is, I let her tell me why she's upset or angry rather than tell her to not shout at me or answer me bc I'm her mom. For me, my daughter is human so she's capable of being angry and invalidating her right to be angry will just damage our relationship
I let her shout, I let her cry if she wants to, she even glares (wc honestly make me feel uncomfortable) but she's angry. So she has to release her anger. Its better for me to know why she's angry so I'll be able to change my ways
Likewise, I don't hide my emotions to her, although of course, unlike her, I control mine. But I tell her I'm angry and explain to her why. She'll sometimes ask me why I'm shouting and I'll tell her straight up, because I'm angry and then explain to her why. And if I'm too angry
I'll leave her for a while and be alone to control my emotions before explaining to her. She does this too. She'll get so angry, walk out, stay in the room and then think. She'll come out and say "I'm sorry I got angry..." and then explain why she was angry
Unlike the traditional "wag mo kong tatalikuran, kinakausap pa kita", i let her leave. I let her cool down and think. And if she apologize, I ask her the question "why". Why are you apologizing? Why did you do that? I want her to know what she did wrong and not just
Apologize to not make me angry anymore. Likewise, I apologize if I shouted at her or gone way overboard, and then again, explain why I got mad.
You see, being a parent is hard, especially in this generation where we want to correct the past generation's way of handling their children. I grew up holding my emotions to myself, and it is painful. I still carry the wounds until today. I dont want Mikay to experience the same
So I'm trying my bestest to educate her, be open-minded and understanding, and not invalidate her feelings too. I'm not perfect and I'm kinda doing this discipline thing alone. Its hard to discipline a child when you had a rough childhood. So to my future parents out there:
Good luck! And don't do to your children the things that traumatized you. Save them from the pain you went through.
Hi, its me once again 
i thought this post has died down already, but it has come to my attention that this thread has reached FB which I'm totally not against. But please, kindly censor my and my daughter's name. There is a reason why I posted it here on Twitter instead of FB
i thought this post has died down already, but it has come to my attention that this thread has reached FB which I'm totally not against. But please, kindly censor my and my daughter's name. There is a reason why I posted it here on Twitter instead of FB
As much as I want to impart knowledge to future parents , I also want to maintain a little privacy for me and my child. Although Twitter is also a public place, i must admit that people here are open minded and more welcoming.
Another reason is because my family, who also belong to the boomer generation is also there and I don't think they'd be happy to see my name lecturing about "talking back"
I hope you understand my situation. I also understand that you want to give credit for my thoughts, but this is my only condition. Thank you!
