Why would any grads choose advertising or media as a career choice these days? Yes, the global capitalist agenda suggests that consumer spending is one of the most important economic factors.

So yes, in theory there’s a good long term prospect of being gainfully employed (I said ‘in theory’), because advertisers will always need to advertise.

And given the way that globalisation is going, we’ve probably only just scraped the surface of what’s going to be possible in advertising in (still) developing markets like China and India.

So there’s that.

But, you used to get into advertising and media as a career choice because it was a fun, creative, exciting industry. It meant you probably worked in London, which at times in the past has probably been the ‘coolest’ city in the world.

And the money was good. It was better than good. If you got in early before clients knew anything, you could be sitting in your sports car pootling down to Soho from Hampstead or Chelsea. And you didn’t even really need to be that capable.

Yes, you probably had to have gone to the right school or have a Daddy that did, but despite what you may have been told, that’s still basically the case. (Why has it taken until 2020 for agencies to actually implement diversity and inclusion policies?)

And there were the lunches. And the exotic location shoots. And the sex, drugs, rock and roll etc. But most importantly (I’m serious) you created some amazing advertising.

Alan Parker, Ridley Scott, Tony Scott, David Puttnam - too many others to mention. They were born in advertising. Some say they created the industry back then. It’s no surprise that they went onto bigger and better things.

I’m not (quite) old enough to have lived the Mad Men era, and they probably hammed it up (seewhatididthere?) a bit for effect, but basically a day of drinking followed by a drive home to your massive house was a very real thing in advertising back then.

But now? Why would you get into it now? The pay is basically still what it was 20 years ago. The lunches aren’t what they used to be. The exotic travel budgets which are on hold at the moment will be completely killed (just you wait).

The advertising is shit. I mean, it is, isn’t it? When was the last ad you stopped and paid attention to? Think of all your most iconic and favourite ads? They’re all over 10-15 years old, aren’t they?

Smash Martians? Tango Man? Guinness Surfer? Honda Cog? The first John Lewis one before they all got crap? Why is modern advertising so bad?

And if you’re under, say, 27, and you’re confused at what I mean by all that - there was a time when ads went on the TV, then the newspapers, and the odd billboard. And they were short films.

Nowadays, those small boxes you scroll straight through on social media and that aren’t adblocked on your PC, and that people accidentally click on when they’re trying to shut down the fucking GDPR cookie message, those are ‘ads’.

But there was a time when advertising was an experience. Was bold, and interesting. Made you take notice.

I think it’s because clients are cowards, and are afraid to make decisions, unless ‘the data’ tells them they’re likely to be right. Nobody has the bollocks to sign anything off on a hunch anymore.

How depressing that the most bold idea in the recent past has been a fight between an opera singer and some talking meerkats over who gets to sell you insurance?

But get this, ‘the data’ is only telling them what they want to hear, and the agencies are providing ‘insights’ based on a ‘model’ that some fucker made up because it had a good ‘narrative’.

And don’t get me started on Google and Facebook data which always points at the best plan being the one which spends the most money on Google or Facebook.

And if you’re on the media side, half of your job is now being done with algorithms and software which will eventually replace you. And if it doesn’t, there’s someone just graduating in Hyderabad or Managua or Abuja or Taipei who will do your job better and cheaper in the future.

The fun of choosing who to spend the money with (that’s what the lunches were for) has gone out of the window, because it’s now between G and FB and then whichever other platform/site can guarantee not to put your ad next to some child porn or extremist recruiter video (not many)

And clients don’t understand what you do (did they ever?) so you spend half your day ‘fixing’ ‘problems’ that are anything but, and the other half trying to convince them that they want to implement your plan.

And all of this is before any of the lawyers, procurement, finance and accountants have drained any of the remaining residual drops of fun out of the equation.

So, no travel, shit money (should have gone into banking), bad work, computers taking over, and you can’t even shag a sales rep after a lunch at Hakkasan and a night on the beak at the Groucho anymore.

You’re better off becoming a ‘content creator’ on YouTube or Tik Tok or whichever platform’s turn it is to be famous for 15 minutes. It’ll still be vapid nonsense, and you’ll be contributing zero to humanity, but at least you’ll be rich.

PS: I thought of some reasons: you can wear what you want. You can take your dog to work. That’s about it.