Daydreaming about the games I played while streaming but didn’t like, or faced really severe cognitive barriers

I’ve long suspected that streaming made me dislike games I otherwise would have (for a few reasons). Now I’ve been playing new games off stream again, it’s prob true!

The reasons are many - streaming in itself adds an enormous cognitive load, so every barrier I faced in a game (cognitive, motor, vision, hearing: ALL of them) was amplified and compounded by the act of streaming

Many think streaming is easy - just playing a game while ppl watch

It’s really so much more than that. It’s PRODUCING and managing a broadcast WHILE playing games which already ask a lot of people.

Many streamers I know (who manage everything themselves) talk about how they’re objectively BETTER at games when they’re also not streaming

You’ll notice high profile competitive streamers don’t pay as much attention to chat or managing their broadcast - this isn’t just experience or their set up, it’s that interactivity and managing all your own stuff means sacrificing gaming skill. It’s a trade off.

On top of that, some games attracted really toxic randos which would just make me mad even if I got really good at not showing it (eventually). Even if not overtly toxic there’d be the backseaters, know it alls, and fanboys. It wasn’t fun dealing with those types

I’ve struggled with where I’m at with streaming for a year or so now. It’s no secret, and it’s extra difficult on top of having a full time job.

I think there’s a lot of these conversations that don’t happen because it hurts streamer’s success to openly talk on them.

There’s even more reasons that streaming probably pushed me to dislike games I otherwise may have loved. These are probably the top two

Plus, feeling like I had to fight for our accessibility community with every big release - all the analyzing & standing up for people’s needs

That last point has been haunting me for a long damn while. I started to lose my love for games and ability to FALL in love with them as I stepped up

I’m trying to get back to finding ways to love games, it’s not easy, esp because my job is so intertwined with critical analysis