How my doubts led to Clarity..

Im just a layman Muslim who was born into a Muslim family and inherited my religion. Didnt properly learned it and never deeply indulged in the Quran and Hadith. Educated myself on a few issues , but never bothered to educate myself on deen

Back in 2015 when I was nearly 17 years old , I came across all this polemical stuff for the first time . Got to know the names of Ahmed Deedat , David Wood, Hassamo Shamoun, Shabbir Ally , Basam Zawadi and others for the first time

I saw David Wood's videos back then for the first time in my life . Some of his videos were just pure bs that I laughed on them. Others made me doubt my faith and question that whether Islam is true or not

So I started to educate myself on the issues that Islamophobes use to put doubts in hearts and minds of Muslims. Saw videos, read some articles , saw debates of Ahmed Deedat and Shabbir Ally ..

And then I realised how deceptive and pathological liars these missionaries and Islamophobes are! My doubts started to clear regarding the issues back then they would say and I realised Islam is true and these islamophobes are a bunch of dimwits and liars

But, instead of building further on what I had started, I left studying and educating myself more on the deen. I felt proud and boastful that I know more than what the layman knows . I became stagnant after 2015. Nearly four years later and 2020 comes

I decide to resume my twitter activities after more than a year (i was inactive from early January to April 2020) , and voila! I see non muslim folks making arguments, twisting facts and other stuff

Which really shattered me from the inside. The points they were saying were just completely new to me regarding the Quran . Their stupid arguments regarding the Prophet SAW werent any special as I had educated myself regarding the Prophet

So their slandering the Prophet never at once made me doubt the Prophet's character as they lie regarding him..
But the Quran? The true word of God which Muslims believe to be, these guys were targeting the Quran using the concept of Qiraat

I had never came across this topic and this really shook me. I felt shattered , and doubtful. 2015 was repeating again but this time it was really really worse and bad

This happened for a few weeks, then I decided to restart myself again. Start with the basics. Read the Quran profoundly to understand the things. Learn about the various Qiraat . Learn a bit of our traditions and scholarship. At the same time, I decided to study some of the Bible

(tho after I read the Quran ) . Reading the Quran with depth for the first time really made me convinced that it is true and I felt weight lifted from my shoulders. And then when I read the Bible and some books and articles on comparative religion and the truth about Trinity

And other stuff, it further strengthened my belief that the Quran is the true word of Allah and Islam the true religion .
Surah Furqaan and Sura Ad Duha struck my heart and made me cry. One talks about wisdom and other talks about remaining firm and strong in your darkest

and lowest days by having faith in Allah .
In Sura 14 verse 5, Allah talks about the 4 qualities of believer, two of them are that they are patient and constant . This struck with me and i realised the mistake that I made

Back in 2015 when after learning a little bit about Islam and the knowing issues which islamophobes raise and getting their answers, I wasnt constant

In my knowledge seeking . Constancy is the key and the driving element of faith. We must be constant in understanding our faith and not to become stagnant in order to be strong in terms of our faith...

And always pray to Allah to keep us on the straight path.
I would then study about the Qiraat and finally understood it ( tho it took me some time ) and realised the Qiraat is an extremely beautiful topic and adds an inimitable dimension

To the linguistic aspect of Quran and making it more beautiful.

Though I still have a lot more to learn , I am engaging myself in various books and works to learn more about this beautiful religion

In the end, I'll say this to my Muslim brothers and sisters. Never feel down despite all the venomous attacks that Islamophobes, missionaries , atheists and ex muslims do on our faith..

Remember , its the truth that people always attack but the truth always wins. Look at the lives of all the Prophets and their companions. Attacked, persecuted, killed just for preaching and believing in truth..but in the end , they always won

So remain patient, constant, appreciative and grateful . Keep on learning the Quran , the hadith , seerah ,and other great scholarly works to be immune from the lies and deception of all the islamophobes out there. Keep on praying to Allah SWT

For indeed it is only He who can lift us from our darkest and lowest moments. Remain firm and constant, never let the doubters control you.

Stay blessed my brothers and sisters