So here's the thing: I have been attracted to non-men who look similar to the men I tend to find attractive. When I realize this, I don't date them or pursue them because being attracted to someone as the gender they aren't is understandable as strangers, fucked up long term. https://twitter.com/Darkhorsedan1/status/1289175827582656517

Like I could never date a person who saw me as a man. Someone who would look at me and misread my gender and would be attracted to me as a man would have a different script and different expectations of me and those things would quickly twist into resentment.

For me, I understand that my shallow attraction to someone who doesn't identify as a man is unhelpful to that person and unpleasing to me long term. TBH, Ive observed a lot of relationships like this.

Generally I've seen this with dfab trans masc folks who date straight men. What happens a lot is that the trans person limits their gender to maintain the relationship and I think that's super unfair to them.

I don't believe that it is a productive thing to date someone whose gender you can't affirm because of how you see your own sexuality. That helps no one.

I've had two incidents where I was physical with someone who later explained to me they were non binary and even in those situations when I tried to see if things could work out, ultimately it doesn't because I'm not affirming their genders by just seeing them as men.

And even when they said they were ok with that they so obviously weren't.