I was feeling rather theologically unsettled last night; probably what unsettles me more than the question of whether God exists, is the question of how other people, smart and honest people, believe it (I assume they believe it, at least, I cannot read minds).

We generally assume when large amounts of smart and honest people believe something, even when other people disagree, that we shouldn't dismiss the belief until understanding the facts that motivate it. I apply that procedure in this circumstance too.

Despite being raised Protestant and attending church for several years and believing in God at one point as a child, I cannot reconstruct the thought process of either myself or anyone else with that belief successfully.

I should clarify, it is not deism that perplexes me, the belief in the existence of a creator God. It is the more profound and weighty view depending on revelation, salvation, etc. I'm not as educated in other theistic religions obviously, but there are analogous perplexities

There is the notion of faith, obviously, and this makes sense because it seems obvious that one cannot *reason* oneself into belief in Christianity. But I have no grasp of what faith means other than a peculiar word attached to certain religious beliefs.

That could not be justified by any other process but which, for whatever reason, people feel the need to justify. I don't claim this is an accurate description, in fact, I assume there is much more to it which is what perturbs me since I do not understand it.

I'm not even concerned about uh 'damnation' and that kind of thing. In fact, my theological intuition is that universal salvation would be the case if the hypothetical omnipotent all loving God did exist. This is a real view held by some theologians, apparently.

A perhaps adjacent question intimately related to these matters, is the question of what sort of social and material changes led to a decline both in the belief of God and the importance we attach to this in guiding our lives, society, etc.

Since the belief was never motivated by sheer reason, I don't think it's correct to point to scientific advances and that sort of thing. People who knew a lot more science in the past believed in God a lot more fervently than plenty of average people today.

At any rate, answering *this* question would help to alleviate the first question from my mind, and maybe even answer both at once, who knows. It's also the question I see the most direct line of inquiry for.

I really dislike the facile approaches of new atheism style inquiry, which do not seem to come close to the heart of the matter. I should probably identify as an agnostic, if that's what comes the closest to just 'lack of belief', not negative belief. but idk really.

I don't really like talking about it as I'm basically just confused, I have no insights to share on the topic or anything, but I do enjoy hearing people's recommendations related to the topic. I'm planning to read some of the poets that discuss God, like Rilke, soon.

In the meantime, if I feel the urge to pray to a God or something like that, I think of the Athenian altar inscription, "TO AN UNKNOWN GOD" https://twitter.com/ResonantPyre/status/1288181985895055360?s=20