After my children & I repeatedly complained to CAFCASS that they were being abused by their father & his new partner & needed protection, they decided I needed to attend a parenting course instead.

A few observations.

*THREAD*

The course was supposed to be 10 people, 5 women & 5 men.

Only 5 women turned up.

3 out of the 5 women had been in and recently escaped domestically abusive relationships.

Their children were seen by the father in a contact centre with someone watching all the time.

2 of those women were so damaged, frightened and broken, they could hardly speak up and participate.

All five of us women worked full time jobs.

We all raised our children full time, despite physical, mental abuse, violence and lack of support.

I was the least affected out of the entire group.

Some of those women were in a terrible state

The advice we were given to be better parents

"Don't email in capital letters because it looks like you are shouting at them"

"Don't say "you", say "we" instead so you don't sound like you are blaming them.

As one woman in the group mentioned, if you've been in a domestically abusive relationship, you are already so careful with what you say and do in order not to enrage your partner.

Treading on eggshells is already a way of life for you and the children.

How do you say for example,
"We'd prefer it if we weren't lifted by the throat & slammed into the door whilst holding our child" in a way that doesn't anger that person?

At the end of the course we got a certificate.

No support for me
No protection for my kids

My son had recently had his nose mysteriously smashed in whilst in his dad's care

It took a year before I could kiss his face without it hurting him

But I got the parenting course

That was 5 years ago
My children are now safe & have no contact with their dad.

But we were lucky.

I look at the soaring domestic violence during coronavirus

I despair for the poor children & the women being murdered

Because if I couldn't get help, they stand no chance