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as someone who realized i was (mostly-ish) a man after years of fandom, sometimes (a lot of the time) takes about women writing m/m fiction Not Knowing How To Write Men Properly makes me spiral into an entire t**f flavored self hatred/doubt about whether i’m, like...a fake
there’s certainly areas where that’s my own business to work on! but at the same time seeing people say “x is completely not what a gay man would do/feel” for the sake of like...proving their authenticity or social justice cred or whatever...and it’s things i relate to...that’s.
it feels bad! i’ve also had people respond to this argument before w/ like “well they’re obviously not talking about /you/, a trans man,” and it’s like interesting tho...how you said “man.”
supporting trans people isn’t just about using the right pronouns. sometimes you need to rethink a whole concept and realize trans people are actually part of the world of gendered experience and not like. an extra category. if that makes sense
and then there’s the flipside of like “well we are talking about women who are writing m/m, not you, why are you so defensive about this,” and it’s like cool—what i am saying is this kind of talk led me to not transition until years after i probably would have!
and some people are not out even to themselves! people will continue to be not out, to be questioning and learning, and they WILL internalize what you are saying, and this needs to be a component of 1) where you are at with “own voices” 2) your understanding of “authentic” gender
this is kind of scattered! anyway i don’t think there IS an “authentic” gender experience and having gender consistently called into question based on flimsy shit, but in the name of ~own voices~, is really exhausting and painful
