I am a British Bangladeshi. This is my home. I’ve proudly dedicate my career to social good. I love my work, it is purpose-led. I represent British ‘Excellence’. The word ‘Empire’ does not resonate with my sense of integrity.

Colonial policies during the British Raj of my birth country ensured communities turned on each other for almost 200 years, its legacy still plays out in our homes today.

Growing up at family gatherings conversations of the Raj and the Empire would result in fallout. The word ‘traitor’ hurled by an aunty at an uncle from another village would often be the last straw.

To my shame I actually learnt about the empire at a museum in Dhaka just 7 years ago. I cried & I could feel my heart bleed as I walked through the historical account of the famine and devastation. A legacy of the empire. I understood why I was not taught this history in school.

My dual identity has a massive hole in it & my sense of belonging has been disrupted by words I have repeatedly heard throughout life ‘go back to where you came from’.

My fuel for life comes from the hardship, the health inequalities & injustice my community continue to experience.

That’s the main reason for accepting the OBE - to honour the courage & resilience of my family, to have a seat at the table, to have a voice, to challenge systems by bringing an alternative perspective.

I would love to feel fully & consistently proud of the the OBE. I would like never to be triggered by it. I am here in-spite of the Empire and that is why I am asking for this change.