Read on Twitter
a thread about how i’m trying to cultivate joy in this moment:
before graduation, I’d planned to finish the second half of the novel I was working on for my thesis. I was already struggling with mental health issues and then
before graduation, I’d planned to finish the second half of the novel I was working on for my thesis. I was already struggling with mental health issues and then
the pandemic happened. a lot of viral tweets took the attitude that if you weren’t putting effort towards your big projects while self-isolating that you were somehow lazy or deficient and lacked discipline. I kept struggling with my writing goals
—by which I mean, I wasn’t writing anything at all. I couldn’t sleep or slept too much. looking back, these months after graduation have felt like one gray smudge. the only thing I found any amount of joy in was reading fanfiction
so I read hundreds of thousands of words of Good Omens fanfiction just kind of passively. it was the only thing my brain would focus on. I was so moved by these writers sharing these novel-length stories with the world for free. because it brought them joy to write it.
there’s a lot of great writing about how fandom can be this radical space—how it’s largely comprised of gender-marginalized and queer people creating art that pushes back against the idea that the only worthwhile pursuits are those that make money
I love that there are so many collaborations between artists and writers and gift exchanges that involve writing a story for someone. like, that’s fucking beautiful—“I love you, and I’m going to write a story just for you based on the things you like.”
I’ve written like...three fanfics since joining the fandom last summer? not a lot. what really changed things for me was finding a post calling for people to read for this massive 275k word fanfic. and that’s how I discovered podfic.
podfic is essentially fan-made audiobooks of fanfiction. besides the fleeting desire that a lot of nerd kids have to be a voice actor (I was 12??), doing narration or voice acting was not something I’d ever really thought about. I didn’t think I had a good voice
but for some reason I volunteered to be a small part of this big fan project. I’m having a lot of fun! I got over my fear of trying new things and learned how to use new software. I learned how to breathe to support my voice and create a more dynamic reading.
after a lot of bad experiences in my life with voice lessons (naturally deeper voice but told to sing higher because gender), I’ve become comfortable with my voice for the first time in my life. I’m excited about creating again.
after starting to participate in the team project, I was excited and wanted to do more, so I’ve been narrating my own podfics for my favorite long fanfics. getting comments like “you have such a beautiful voice” is something I never thought anyone would tell me.
as much as I love writing, I love also having a creative outlet that’s not writing. and I feel like podfic is a medium that allows me to show my appreciation of other writer’s work. I’ve also found some joy, and that’s been really hard these past months.
okay, that concludes this thread. thank you for reading my memoir. i’m so bad at twitter
