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—Presidential pick up lines—
THREAD
George Washington:
“Hey girl, you want some wood in your mouth too?”
THREAD
George Washington:
“Hey girl, you want some wood in your mouth too?”
John Adams:
“I wouldn’t mind being your sloppy seconds.”
“I wouldn’t mind being your sloppy seconds.”
Thomas Jefferson:
“Girl, you make me want to veto the Non-Intercourse Act.”
“Girl, you make me want to veto the Non-Intercourse Act.”
James Madison:
“Are you a second amendment supporter? Because I want you to handle my gun.”
“Are you a second amendment supporter? Because I want you to handle my gun.”
James Monroe:
“I don’t know about an ‘era’ of good feelings, but I can guarantee at least two minutes, babe.”
“I don’t know about an ‘era’ of good feelings, but I can guarantee at least two minutes, babe.”
John Quincy Adams:
“Hey girl, you wanna find out why I call my mutton chops the thigh ticklers?”
“Hey girl, you wanna find out why I call my mutton chops the thigh ticklers?”
Andrew Jackson:
“Your panties must be Native American, because I’m gonna remove them.”
“Your panties must be Native American, because I’m gonna remove them.”
Martin Van Buren:
“Hey girl, you wanna know why they call me Old Kinderhook? .... I’m just OK.”
“Hey girl, you wanna know why they call me Old Kinderhook? .... I’m just OK.”
William Henry Harrison:
“Baby, this is gonna be the greatest night of your-“ *dies*
“Baby, this is gonna be the greatest night of your-“ *dies*
John Tyler:
“Um... to be honest, I never expected to make it this far.”
“Um... to be honest, I never expected to make it this far.”
James K. Polk:
“They said ‘go west,’ but I’d rather you go south.”
“They said ‘go west,’ but I’d rather you go south.”
Zachary Taylor:
“I’m dying to pop your cherry.”
“I’m dying to pop your cherry.”
Millard Fillmore:
“It’s okay, I won’t remember your name by tomorrow morning either.”
“It’s okay, I won’t remember your name by tomorrow morning either.”
Franklin Pierce:
“Hey girl, are you mentally ill? Because I’m gonna totally fuck you.”
“Hey girl, are you mentally ill? Because I’m gonna totally fuck you.”
James Buchanan:
“Let’s have sex like we’re the United States during my term; just sit back and let the southern parts do what they want.”
“Let’s have sex like we’re the United States during my term; just sit back and let the southern parts do what they want.”
Abraham Lincoln:
“Sorry, I’m not into bondage.”
“Sorry, I’m not into bondage.”
Andrew Johnson:
“You’re gonna need reconstruction after this Johnson.”
“You’re gonna need reconstruction after this Johnson.”
Ulysses S. Grant:
“Hey girl, you must be Cold Harbor, coz I’m going in full frontal.”
“Hey girl, you must be Cold Harbor, coz I’m going in full frontal.”
Rutherford B. Hayes:
“You must be the South, because I’m definitely gonna pull out.”
“You must be the South, because I’m definitely gonna pull out.”
James A. Garfield:
“Call me Charles Guiteau, coz I’m gonna give it to you from behind.”
“Call me Charles Guiteau, coz I’m gonna give it to you from behind.”
Chester A. Arthur:
“Just like my presidency, I come unexpectedly, but it’s better than you might expect.”
“Just like my presidency, I come unexpectedly, but it’s better than you might expect.”
Grover Cleveland:
“Once you go Grover, just once dont mean it’s over.”
“Once you go Grover, just once dont mean it’s over.”
Benjamin Harrison:
“Are your legs Grover Cleveland’s terms in office? Because I’m gonna come between them.
...
And no, I’m not the dad from Frasier. Unless that works for you?”
“Are your legs Grover Cleveland’s terms in office? Because I’m gonna come between them.
...
And no, I’m not the dad from Frasier. Unless that works for you?”
Grover Cleveland (again):
“Told you.”
“Told you.”
William McKinley:
“They don’t call me ‘Wobbly Willie’ for nothing.”
“They don’t call me ‘Wobbly Willie’ for nothing.”
Theodore Roosevelt:
“I treat my ladies like my speeches. No matter what, I make sure they’re finished.”
“I treat my ladies like my speeches. No matter what, I make sure they’re finished.”
William Taft:
“Hey girl, it’s not just my bathtub that I’m too big for.”
“Hey girl, it’s not just my bathtub that I’m too big for.”
Woodrow Wilson:
“It’s not just my name that has wood.”
“It’s not just my name that has wood.”
Warren G. Harding
“Go Harding or go home.”
“Go Harding or go home.”
Calvin Coolidge:
“Are your clothes my cabinet members? Because I’ve got the right to remove them.”
“Are your clothes my cabinet members? Because I’ve got the right to remove them.”
Herbert Hoover:
“Dam, girl.”
“Dam, girl.”
Franklin D. Roosevelt:
“You’ll need to borrow my wheelchair after tonight.”
“You’ll need to borrow my wheelchair after tonight.”
Harry S. Truman:
“Hey girl, wanna help battle this bulge?”
“Hey girl, wanna help battle this bulge?”
Dwight D. Eisenhower:
“What does the D stands for? It stands for you, babe.”
“What does the D stands for? It stands for you, babe.”
John F. Kennedy:
“Is your ass Lee Harvey Oswald? Because it just blew my mind.”
“Is your ass Lee Harvey Oswald? Because it just blew my mind.”
Lyndon B. Johnson:
“I’m like the Vietnam War. Wayyyyy longer than expected.”
“I’m like the Vietnam War. Wayyyyy longer than expected.”
Richard Nixon:
“Hey baby, I know a great hotel we can go to.”
“Hey baby, I know a great hotel we can go to.”
Gerald Ford:
“I can’t stop falling for you, girl.”
“I can’t stop falling for you, girl.”
Jimmy Carter:
“No, oh my gosh, I said PEANUTS. Would like to taste my PEANUTS?”
“No, oh my gosh, I said PEANUTS. Would like to taste my PEANUTS?”
Ronald Reagan:
“Your panties must be the Berlin Wall, because I want to tear ‘em down.”
“Your panties must be the Berlin Wall, because I want to tear ‘em down.”
George H.W. Bush:
“Read my lips; ᶜᵘⁿⁿᶦˡᶦⁿᵍᵘˢ.”
“Read my lips; ᶜᵘⁿⁿᶦˡᶦⁿᵍᵘˢ.”
Bill Clinton:
“Girl, I’d never deny sexual relations with you.”
“Girl, I’d never deny sexual relations with you.”
George W. Bush:
“I’m gonna get in those pants like I entered Iraq; no exit strategy.”
“I’m gonna get in those pants like I entered Iraq; no exit strategy.”
Barack Obama:
“Hey girl, wanna see my stimulus package?”
“Hey girl, wanna see my stimulus package?”
Donald Trump:
“Wow, you’re almost as hot as my daughter.”
“Wow, you’re almost as hot as my daughter.”
