THREAD: Was thinking about some of the techniques that I do with clients as we're finalizing their script to be taken out to the town. The three techniques I want to talk about differ in their focus, but they all aim at one thing: Coumminicating EMOTION to the reader. 1/

If you've read my threads, you know how obsessed I am with readability. As Tony Gilroy told my class back at NYU, the job of the writer is to get the reader to turn the page. I believe the best way to do that is to get the reader emotionally involved in the script. 2/

AND SO here's my standard warning: This advice may not be right for you. Feel free to ignore it. Some might view some of these techniques as hand-holding the reader. But personally, I have no problem with scripts that do that -- it means they're guiding me on a journey. 3/

The first technique I want to discuss is doing an Emotional Check-In Pass. I bring this up first because it has the biggest writing impact of the three. This is making sure that roughly every 15 pages, you're checking in with where your lead character(s) are at emotionally. 4/

Sometimes this is linked to their narrative goal (which I think should also be "checked in" with every 15 or so pages.) Sometimes, it's completely separate. Basically, this is about clarifying where your lead character is at emotionally and how they feel about what's going on. 5/

DIE HARD is a pretty fantastic example of this and it's mostly accomplished through the relationship between McClane and Al Powell. "How are you doing" can be a powerful tool. Sometimes, early on though, it's just McClane talking to himself. 6/

You always have a clear sense of how he's feeling about his chances, what his options are, and so on. A lot of the time, all this is naturally in place in the script. But doing a pass focusing on it can help you notice that there's a section where it got forgotten or deleted. 7/

I've found that when readers lose track of how a lead is feeling or cares about, then it can feel like a series of empty plot mechanics to them. These "check-ins" can help remind readers that this isn't just plot, these are meaningful events for the hero that impact them. 8/

The next technique is similar in aim, but where Emotional Check-Ins are focused on the Macro, this is focused on the Micro. This technique is called an Emotional Temperature Pass and it focuses on scene work, particularly description, as well as transitions between scenes. 9/

By Emotional Temperature, what I'm referring to is what the characters in the scene (particularly the lead) are feeling throughout the scene. And especially, how they leave the scene feeling. What their emotional takeaway from the events of the scene was. 10/

What I'm about to suggest is something that a lot of people, especially Film School Professors, tell you NEVER TO DO. They'll say if it can't be conveyed via dialogue or explicit action, never write it. But... it's worked well for me and my clients throughout my career. 11/

I've had clients write long scenes where it's just dialogue, ping-ponging back and forth between 2-3 characters. And as enjoyable as good dialogue can be, it can sometimes be hard to pick up the exact emotional nuance of what's going on in the scene. 12/

This is especially true if you're reading quickly because you have 12 other scripts to read that Sunday night. Which is often the case for execs and agents. It's not heartening to hear this, but it's a reality of the industry that work is rarely read in ideal circumstances. 13/

We can't lighten the reading load for readers, but we can make it easier to read and understand what's going on. An emotional temperature line that conveys what's going on in the scene is an immense help towards doing that. They serve as an emotion-focused TLDR, if you will. 14/

In a scene where 2 people are arguing, it can be as simple as adding: "He glares at her -- he can't believe they're having this argument." Do you 100% need that? No. Does it help convey the mood and tone of the scene? Absolutely. Little lines like that can be very effective. 15/

I'm particularly obsessed with transitions, where you can summarize what happened in the scene. This is done by describing the takeaway emotion that the lead is feeling as the scene ends. @IanShorr is a master of this and I learnt much of how to do this from him. 16/

Here a few examples from @IanShorr's script CAPSULE:

"Prescott walks off. Elliot, sucking it up, turns to his work."

"It’s awkward enough to make Elliot want to commit seppuku."

"Pushing in on Elliot’s fear-frozen face, we SMASH TO:"

17/

All quite simple, but very effective in conveying the mood and tone of the scene. Even a reader who was on script 8 of 12 that Sunday night would understand what just happened in the scene. That's the job of the Emotional Temperature Pass. Keeping them involved and reading. 18/

The last one is the most straightforward, but also the one that can cause the most issues if not done. That's the Emotional Continuity Pass. This is re-reading your script multiple times, but each time focusing on a major character and their emotional throughline. 19/

For example, if your lead ends Scene 25 mad at their best friend Bill, make sure that in Scene 29, when they see Bill again, that they're still mad (if nothing between them has changed.) 20/

This may seem like a very OBVIOUS thing to do but often in the rewrite process, scenes get changed and moved around. So there may be "orphans" -- things that made sense in a previous draft and no longer do in the current draft, but were forgotten about. 21/

You may have deleted the old Scene 27 where Bill apologized to your lead, but forgotten to address it in the new version of Scene 29. This is true not just of inter-character conflicts, but character emotions. 22/

If a lead has a bad day at work, make sure they're still annoyed when they get home (in case you deleted the scene where they got good news on the ride home and it brightened their mood.) It's basically about making sure all the emotional logic tracks throughout the script. 23/

Though they're different in execution, all these passes have the same goal -- to bring a reader into the emotional world of the script and keep them there throughout. (Even if it makes Film Professors mad at you!) END