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Asexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction. It is not shaming people with multiple sexual partners. It is not just “friendship” when aces date and don’t have sex, whether or not that person is also aromantic. https://twitter.com/sashalpc/status/1278704613517135872
(Sorry I messed up my reply the first time; that’s my bad. All those points still apply but they’re not immediately relevant here.)
I’m demisexual/gray ace. I am polyamorous. This means I can fall in love with more than one person at a time. That relationship may or may not be sexual. It means I consent to my partners dating other people and they may or may not have sex.
Everyone knows about each other. That’s the key component to polyamory. It can mean many different things to different people, including but not limited to open relationships, throuples, multiple romantic partners, multiple sexual and romantic partners, and more.
To me this says you don’t understand asexuality, because there are asexuals who have and enjoy sex. There are aces with libido and aces who enjoy arousal. https://link.medium.com/rJcBU3Vpw8
In fact in some studies what has been found to be inconsistent among aces is how & why we engage in sexual relationships. Attraction =\\= action, and asexual spectrum orientations are a great example of that. https://link.medium.com/2qWlHD2pw8
This means that even if we are going with the restrictive idea of polyamory being always about sex, many asexuals would and do still fit the bill. There are many ways to be ace; we will probably surprise you.
There are many ways to be ace, and to be polyamorous. This is me asking you to learn, in depth, about asexuality before making sweeping statements like this. It’s uneducated and incorrect and publicly further marginalizes a marginalized community.
There are many resources out there. Some great places to start are @aromantic_aurea @asexuality @soundsfakepod @SliceOfAce @theyasminbenoit @TAAAP_org, and there are many more. There’s a lot of unlearning to do when you’re new to asexuality, but it can be done, if you try.
Here is also some reading about what Queerplatonic means: https://link.medium.com/fSIkilRqw8
Here is some good reading about how polyamory can seem at odds but they actually aren’t: https://goodmenproject.com/gender-sexuality/big-fat-polyamorous-asexual-post-jvinc/
From the Journal of Positive Sexuality: https://journalofpositivesexuality.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Asexual-Polyamory-Potential-Challenges-and-Benefits-Copulsky.pdf
Those are some starting points. The resources are out there, again, if you are willing to learn.
