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It is absurd to see parents telling autistic people here that “your autism is not like MY kid’s autism.” Sure, and your experience as a parent is not like all other parents’ experiences but no one questions that—or that there are commonalities all parents understand (thread!). 1/
(except break because school BRB) 2/
Autism is more a constellation of traits than a spectrum, but there are always, always commonalities like sensory or processing or motor or social traits that autistic people understand—and some can explain—in ways NT parents and professionals WILL NEVER EVER EXPERIENCE. 3/
So, parents, you have a choice: You can lash out at the autistic people who can help you/your autistic kid lead happier and more informed lives, or you can barricade yourselves behind a wall of self-enforced ignorance and misinformation and misery. That choice is 100% yours. 4/
And yes, parents, you may encounter autistic people who are jerks—just as I’m writing this because I keep seeing parents being jerks in their treatment of autistic people trying to help those same parents’ children not repeat preventably unhappy aspects of autistic childhood. 5/
The fact that some behave badly on the internet (which is different from countering BS, btw) does not invalidate the authority of autistic people when it comes to lived experience of being autistic. Parents who don’t listen to autistic people are being… questionable parents. 6/
And I’m telling you other parents of autistic kids to listen to autistic people not because I enjoy pontificating, but because this is my lived truth. I don’t want you/your wonderful child to learn the hard and rocky and painful and totally avoidable way I learned this myself. 7/
If you want a lucid article rather than a tweetstorm about why listening to autistic people can help make parents of autistic kids better parents, and help everyone involved lead happier lives, I wrote for @washingtonpost about this: https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2019/10/16/how-listening-autistic-adults-helped-me-understand-support-my-son/ 8/
And NO listening to autistic people doesn’t suddenly fix everything in autistic kids’/parents' lives. Our lives are still going to be hard, because the world is not set up for autistic people. & being autistic can be hard, regardless. But your lives can be EASIER. They *can*. 9/9
