Sometimes it's not gaslighting, but the unpredictable and spiteful actions you may never find out about. They may slip up, but calling them on it is a risk. The spite and rage is extreme. The threats are immobilizing. You become scared of confrontation and yet it happens anyway.

They weave a web of lies and leave you to lay on cold floor of betrayal that comes from lying, cheating and stealing. They draw you back in an apology that could win an Oscar or an apology that feels strangely empty, like the feeling is missing from it. No conflict resolution.

The entire time you are attached to a false first impression. You want them to treat you with respect, love and consideration like they did before. They'll do it on their conditions, with hidden motives in mind to get what they want from you. Support, money, sex, attention, info.

They may attach themselves to you all over again, validate you, celebrate you, reassure you, grand gestures of kindness with strings attached. With a trauma bond a covert narcissist created, these crumbs look like a slice of your favorite cake. You lick them up from the floor.

Covert narcissists come in the form of friends, family and lovers. They claim to care about you until they don't. They're not easily recognized by their friends and family and lovers, which you may be a part of. They are convincing, persuasive, seductive as they mislead you.

You lose all of these people and some of your own because they run a smear campaign behind your back. They play the victim while leaving you a casualty. You cry out for help and nobody will believe you. It was always their support system and they'll win over yours.

Your heart breaks not once but several times. A covert narcissist pick up the pieces with you using one hand, the other hand behind their back. They'll play you close only to devalue you and discard you like you meant nothing.

Why? Because you mean nothing to them.

If you leave before they discard you, they'll obsess over you, stalk you, get violent with you, project onto you even harder and threaten to blackmail you. Nothing is off the table when it comes to this. The covert narcissist no longer hides. This is why people stay—Out of fear.

Your inaccessibility is asking for war. They saw something in you that they could never possess hence the mirroring. Covert narcissists choose the best people—

The kind-hearted, the generous, the talented, the ones who are on a fast track to success, but don't realize it yet. They pick the strong ones to break them down with psychological abuse. Playing victim, withholding information as a form of lying, hitting you where it hurts.

They prey on previous victims of narcissistic abuse. They're dangerous to survivors because everything is wonderful until it isn't. A survivor being retraumatized relives the memories of the abuse from every covert narcissist they've ever encountered and blames themselves.

As a survivor, you face the devalue and discard phase like it was happening for the first time again. They believe you're useless and they need you to believe it. Everything you have to offer is devalued because of their inferiority to you. They want to destroy you. They're weak.

Covert narcissists mask themselves as someone they're not. That's why they're so dangerous. They're professional liars with their sob stories, they believe every lie they tell themselves, including the ones about you. They put on empathy like a Halloween costume. Your nightmare.

Covert narcissists will not know how to leave you alone. It's their goal for you to not know peace. They'll keep baiting you and stalking you. And if you think you're alone, you're not—You are present with so many other people on their shit list.

If you walk away from a covert narcissist, you will wonder if everything was a lie or exaggerated.

It was.

Don't go back.

Don't apologize.

Don't let them brainwash you into thinking you are a horrible person.

They project that onto you.

If you live with a covert narcissist, protect your energy and peace like it's your fucking life. Why? Because it is.

I hope you get away.

You will.

Believe in that.

My favorite person on YouTube to go to about information about narcissists, narcissistic abuse, recovery and how to protect yourself during and after is the fantastic Dr. Ramani.

You're a loveable, incredible person. Your pain is real. You will survive.

Thanks for reading.

Speaking of narcissistic abuse (sorry posted it wrong)? https://twitter.com/arebirthofvenus/status/1286081323589939200?s=19