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I think it's time we have a heart to heart about why the positivity threads/say something nice about someone you know end up being... not really as positive as they could be in the end - mainly because it conditions us to judge the value of our worth by the opinion of others.
I'll level with y'all - as a person who has not been on a lot of them or added as a last minute after-thought - it's led to a lot of self- doubt and second guessing why I stick around here.
Why bother speaking up, why bother interacting, why why why until I fill the sky.
Why bother speaking up, why bother interacting, why why why until I fill the sky.
I know I'm not the only one who feels like that. I know this because I consistently see the same names on these threads and it really makes me wonder about the level of thought that goes into the comments of those threads because they quickly become just a list of names, with
nothing of significance or meaning attached to it.
I see only names. Twitter handles. And not seeing the individual behind the handle.
If you're the one that's forgotten or intentionally left off the list, that fucking sucks to see - but on the opposite spectrum, nobody
I see only names. Twitter handles. And not seeing the individual behind the handle.
If you're the one that's forgotten or intentionally left off the list, that fucking sucks to see - but on the opposite spectrum, nobody
is ever saying anything of value about the people that end up getting listed.
*Self-correction: rarely does someone say anything of value on those threads about the people they list.
*Self-correction: rarely does someone say anything of value on those threads about the people they list.
I would rather have one person say something substantial about me, about the work I have done, the work I continue to do, their excitement to see what's ahead from me, than to just be another name in a list of a bunch of other names, or being forgotten altogether.
These threads are an element of toxic positivity and toxic positivity is a problem in a lot of spaces, but especially in TTRPGs.
There were many reasons why I stopped participating in Follow Fridays, but this was chief among them:
Toxic positivity hurts everyone.
There were many reasons why I stopped participating in Follow Fridays, but this was chief among them:
Toxic positivity hurts everyone.
So the next time a thread comes up like that - consider not commenting. Consider making a tweet thread lifting one specific person* up.
*Assuming that you've done your due diligence about them and curating your feed, of course.
*Assuming that you've done your due diligence about them and curating your feed, of course.
Because what a lot of people don't end up seeing is folx quietly commiserating that they've been left out (intentionally/unintentionally) or forgotten...
Again.
Again.
**I also want to say that if you've lifted folx individually up in the past only to be burned by those folx - I see you. I'm in this boat, too. Your pain, frustration, and trepidation to do that again for others is justified and valid. You do what is most comfortable for you.
