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I've spent today toggling between being baffled and being angry - reading post after post from anti-maskers (HOW IS THIS A THING) and science-deniers, folks who follow 45 wherever he leadeth. (A thread.)
I've wasted some time trying to speak truth into the miasma of denial, selfishness, and baseless hatred. It hasn't gone well. I knew it wouldn't, though, because I know these people. (2)
I grew up with some of them, and know the environment from which the others sprung. It's always been deeply anti-science.
Not believing in science is not only virtuous, it's the only path to salvation for them. (3)
Not believing in science is not only virtuous, it's the only path to salvation for them. (3)
And I mean that literally. My homeschool curriculum taught that if someone believed in evolution, they were going to hell.
I had classes on how to missionize with creation "science". (4)
I had classes on how to missionize with creation "science". (4)
The home I was raised in was part of a faith-healing church - Branham inspired, for those of you in the know - and so I didn't see an actual medical doctor until I was 18, had my first medical insurance, and was legally able to see one in spite of my parent's anger. (5)
I feel it's important to note at this point that my father is a CRNA - a Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist. He spent my childhood (and still is, as far as I know) working as a CRNA. (6)
"He does it to save lives so people can live to get saved and learn going to the doctor is a sin" was my first experience with cognitive dissonance. I didn't know the term for it, since I was only 5 years old, but I remember knowing it was nonsense even then. (7)
Anyway. All of that to say I'm well versed, no pun intended, in demonology as cause for disease. I've survived multiple exorcism attempts to "cast out the demons of (infirmity, sinus infection, ovarian cysts, migraines, anaphylaxis, etc)" (8)
As revelatory as this will be to some, my allergies respond much better to Benadryl, Epinephrine, and Steroids than they ever did to the hours-long sessions with a belt, applied to my back, buttocks, and legs, to "drive out the demons" - shocking, yes? (9)
I wish I had an answer to deprogram people from all this. I don't. I'm 43 and my entire life so far has been spent telling the truth, pissing people off, and being told me and my truth were the issue, not the lies they clung to. (10)
What I am saying, though, is for every person out there who says "OMG demon sex as a cause for endometriosis? hahahahahahaha!" there are other people out there saying "Well, yeah. I mean we "know" demons cause all sorts of disease!" (11)
It's not as farfetched as many of us wish it were. I haven't been in contact with my raping, all-around-abusive parents for well over a decade, but I am sure they still hold tight to those doctrines. (12)
My feet still ache when I remember the "prayer walks" to "bind the demons of (insert town we lived in here)". My head still aches when I remember the evangelist hitting me repeatedly on the forehead because I had braced myself and wouldn't be "slain in the Spirit". (13)
My story is not abnormal. That is what makes it so distressing to me. There's way too many of us out here who share similarities and who are terrified of this making its way to ultimate power in the government. (14)
I'm in a good-ish place now. I found a spiritual home in Reform Judaism (take THAT, ancestors who converted to Christianity!) and thanks to therapy, medication, chosen family, and friends, most days I do just fine. (15)
The days I don't do fine though? Those are the days my cPTSD is triggered by a President, arguably the most powerful man in the world, endorsing the same demonology that left me with permanent bone damage.
cc: @JeffSharlet @C_Stroop @skestenbaum
cc: @JeffSharlet @C_Stroop @skestenbaum
