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I feel like it's super important for me to take a moment to say that the way everyone grieves is valid. I know that I made a post the day my sister died saying that I likely wouldn't post anything for a while, only to be back to posting within a week, but that's OK.
I did feel a little bad about it at first. As if by posting I had already gotten over the loss of my sister, and in such a short amount of time, but that's simply not true. I started crying twice today and I hate laying in bed at night in silence. I can't stand it, in fact.
I lay in bed and turn the TV on. Start a video on YT and let autoplay take it from there. As long as I have noise to keep me from thinking about my sister. About how I'll never tease or be teased by her. About how she'll never hold her son again, or just show him love.
I even think about how much I'll miss our arguments. Because of course I would rather her be alive and occasionally get into a heated argument than never seeing her in person again. I need to be distracted right now, and I need to feel like I'm actually being useful.
I don't have a job right now. My mom and I (we both lived with my sister) were working on getting jobs when this happened, and now, we're about to move to another state to be with family, so, getting a job will have to wait for there. I'm helping take care of online things too.
And taking care of my nephew while my mother makes phone calls, but other than that, these days have just been so long and I want so badly to feel like I'm doing something. And if doing something means that I post a screencap I took, making an edit, or even writing a thread-
then that's OK! And the same would go if I did end up not posting on here for a month, or two, or however long I needed to feel OK. And I'm kind of typing this out to vent, but also I feel this might be an important thread for people to read.
Tl;dr the way you grieve is valid.
Tl;dr the way you grieve is valid.
I also posted this kinda on the getting-late-side so don't mind me if I reblog this in the morning
