Re: Amber Heard. I used to work in a domestic violence shelter. I only wrote grants, but I still had to familiarize myself with cases and the psychological impact of DV. I can't think of a single case where the victim took the abuser to court for anything other than children.

Does that mean Amber is totally blameless? I've seen some speculate that they were both abusive to each other. I'm inclined to say no, just from the belief of the "perfect victim" myth and how Amber doesn't adhere to it. They both have witnesses to support their arguments.

(To be fair, none of Amber's witnesses work for her or are financially tied to her in any way.)

What I keep coming back to is this: Victims want to be free of their abuser, not take them to court. Abusers want to continue hurting their victim, punish them, try to control them.

This guy is suing her for more than she got in the divorce. Because he is suing her, she has to go to an entirely different country and attend the trial. And he intends to sue her in the United States, too. That isn't the move of someone seeking justice. That's an abuser's move.

He can still work. Nobody's cared about this stuff before. He got flack for playing a Native American and still got hired.

He actively tried to get her blacklisted. He threatened her with death. Joked about it. And is now taking her to court because she offended him. By LEAVING.

He can't control or punish her any other way, so he's using the courts to do it. He's making her relive the abuse. Because that's all he can do. And if he makes money off it? Bonus.

Every time I think about this, I find it hard to believe that she was abusing him.

Because if that were true, why is he still finding ways to exert power over her? If SHE were the one who hurt HIM, why would he want to relive all this? To clear his reputation? Like he's never had a bad rep before? Like people in Hollywood care about abuse allegations?

He was going to be fine without this trial. His addiction issues (which have been a thing since, what, the 90s?) are his biggest hurdle to overcome. Instead of dealing with them, he's dragging someone else to court and making them prove they were abused in the name of "justice."

"But she's lying! She obviously took these fake photos the whole time!"

She did what DV victims are told to do - chronicle everything. It can be used as insurance to HELP YOU LEAVE. It can help you get a divorce where your abuser doesn't continue to abuse you through terms.

We tell this to victims of pretty much every crime. Record the incident. Preserve the record. This isn't a new concept.

Anyway, I'm meandering, but there. I just wanted to weigh in because people seem to wonder who the abuser is. For my money, it's the person still trying to find ways to hurt and control the other. I hope he loses this case. I hope he loses the next.