So @NeolithicSheep found something at Dogskull Patch...

Shep was standing there saying “I’ll find it a home!” and it lets out a mew and @ksonney is...well, they weren’t lying about finding it a home, anyway.

I now present thirty seconds of Angry Bald Man with tiny kitten.

SHEP: I SWEAR I DID NOT PLAN THIS
ME: (resigned) These things happen.

Hmm, I just got a text from upstairs...

So I walk upstairs and find Kevin defeated as he attempts to set up a kitten refuge in the tub.

“Now I know how the big dog in all those Warner Brothers cartoons felt.”

Kevin is now doing a conference call for an org he’s on the Board of, while cradling a tiny kitten. His fellow members are unsurprised.

UPDATE: Tiny kitten has eaten! It wanted crunchy food, apparently.

Tiny kitten briefly fell asleep on my...ah...vast tracts of land...but now mostly does not want to be separated from Kevin. It begins to mew worriedly when it cannot hear him.

(When it ate solid food, @NeolithicSheep and I began high fiving and doing the White Person Shuffle, because oh my god, we don’t have to bottle feed.)

In an effort to save Kevin’s voice, we put on Monty Don. Tiny Kitten is staying in the office chicken bin, which is a large Tupperware bin with venting and the chick brooder so it has something warm to sit under.

Ah, yes. For about five minutes, Kevin thought the kitten would sleep in his office. Then it began to cry sadly for him. https://twitter.com/neolithicsheep/status/1288288206736302084?s=21

SHEP: Do I need to help you carry the chick brooder to the bedroom?
KEVIN: No, no.
KITTEN: mew!
KEVIN:
SHEP:
KEVIN: ...yes.

Fortunately, Monty Don appears to be an acceptable substitute for Kevin’s voice. Tiny Kitten ate a few bites and is now sacked out under the heat panel listening to important information about how to treat fungus on your tomatoes.

I call this one “Portrait Of A Man Resigned To His Fate.”

Kevin, no! Don’t show the kitten the Internet yet! It’s too young!