Seriously. I get why people like bicycles. Or at least people who live in flat places and aren't remotely disabled, old or chubby. Cycling is fab. Yeah.

But there is no way that bicycling is any sort of solution to our health problems, our economic problems or our transport problems. It's something fit Hearty Hemulen do on a weekend all over North Yorkshire. Power to their elbow.

But now GPs are urged to "prescribe" a bike ride to a 14 stone woman who hasn't been anywhere near a bicycle since she was 16. Oh yeah, that's going to work!

Either she (or he fwiw) pedals for a day on a nice flat surface and then sacks the whole idea in preference for ambling round the pond with an ice cream...

...or else, clad in expensive lycra and perched on a grand's worth of slick bicycle, our chubby is squashed by a white van five minutes after setting out for the Big Ride.

This bicycling thing. It's a sort of lovely but utterly crazy thing. Only people living in a big flat city would think cycling resolves anything.

If y'all serious about bike riding then start by banning cars from all of central London. G'wan do it. Put your lycra clad arse on the money.