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After joking about to today, I went ahead and made it.
EPL clubs as bourbons:
EPL clubs as bourbons:
Arsenal 
Blanton's
Big name, lots of hype, lots of tradition. Often overrated.
Blanton'sBig name, lots of hype, lots of tradition. Often overrated.
Chelsea Willett Family Estate
Bit of a glamour pick. Solid bourbon and brand thriving on recent investment.
Willett Family EstateBit of a glamour pick. Solid bourbon and brand thriving on recent investment.
Manchester United Maker's Mark
Iconic brand, draped in red. Very popular around the world.
Maker's MarkIconic brand, draped in red. Very popular around the world.
Liverpool Booker's
Comes in a wine bottle and a fancy wooden box because it thinks it's better than you.
Booker'sComes in a wine bottle and a fancy wooden box because it thinks it's better than you.
Manchester City Barrell Craft Spirit
Very nice. Awards winning and expensive. Also, wasn't around in the 90s.
Barrell Craft SpiritVery nice. Awards winning and expensive. Also, wasn't around in the 90s.
Everton Woodford Reserve
It's fine.
Woodford ReserveIt's fine.
Spurs Wild Turkey 101
Hipster pick but a solid bourbon. Avian themed.
Wild Turkey 101Hipster pick but a solid bourbon. Avian themed.
Newcastle Old Grand-Dad
Just lookin to fight someone.
Old Grand-DadJust lookin to fight someone.
West Ham Bulleit
Puts offs a real rough, blue-collar, hard working vibe. But don't be fooled, they're not broke.
Bulleit Puts offs a real rough, blue-collar, hard working vibe. But don't be fooled, they're not broke.
Burnley Mellow Corn
Charmingly enjoyable swill.
Mellow CornCharmingly enjoyable swill.
